


Life in a Cubicle: A Guide to Dating a Co-Worker

by dandyline_wine



Category: Supernatural RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-11
Updated: 2009-04-11
Packaged: 2020-11-24 16:11:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 37,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20910443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandyline_wine/pseuds/dandyline_wine
Summary: Big Bang 2009





	Life in a Cubicle: A Guide to Dating a Co-Worker

**Author's Note:**

> Big Bang 2009

_ **Prologue** _

Jared works in a cubicle.

So okay, it’s not like that’s what he set out to do. It’s not like he woke up one morning and thought, Yeah, working at the corporate office of a nationwide home remodeling company, that’s it. That’s where I’m meant to be.

He had an actual degree from a respectable college and a half-assed ten year plan that he composed during his freshman year with his academic advisor but three months out of school, he just took the first job that offered him things like healthcare benefits and 401K matching. He figured he could take it as a temporary gig while he looked for something better but then he just kind of, you know. Stopped looking.

But really, Jared doesn’t mind his cubicle so much. It’s a paycheck and it’s a steady eight to five deal. So yeah, he’s not out saving lives or helping orphans or whatever else he could be doing with his life. Instead, he makes vinyl siding. Or, he fixes the computers for the guys that make vinyl siding, mostly. Just semantics.

The next thing Jared knows, they’re buying him a cake to celebrate his three year mark and he’s trying to think of a glamorous way of saying “Information Technology Representative” on the questionnaire for his high school reunion. Unfortunately, everything he comes up with makes it sound like he’s sort of, you know, a representative for Information Technology.

So it all starts the day Jared decides to quit. He comes up with a lame two week notice speech in his head and he’s in the middle of a half-hearted trial run of it when he gets an email from his boss saying that some guy in Engineering may possibly have a virus and can he please get down there ASAP?

Jared pretty much books it down to Engineering because two-week-notice or not, he’s got a stellar work ethic and he’s not going to be a slacker just because he’s depressed over his apparently meaningless existence.

When Jared gets to Engineering, he has to poke his head into a few offices because this Jensen guy isn’t someone he’s ever heard of before. He figures he’s looking for an old, balding guy, probably with a gut and probably the type that always wears a thin white button-up without an undershirt so that you can see everything that you don’t want to see underneath. That’s pretty much par for the course amongst the engineers so Jared figures he’s looking for the only old, bald, fat guy that he hasn’t seen before.

He rounds a corner and sees the shiny, faux-metallic name plate adhered just slightly off-kilter to the door in the corner, JENSEN ACKLES displayed boldly in block letters. It’s the last thing Jared takes in before his world basically comes crumbling down.

He peeks his head in, wearing an obligatory smile, and almost falls over when he sees the guy sitting in there. The desk faces the wall so Jared shamelessly stares at the guy’s profile and he is, without doubt, the hottest person Jared’s ever seen in real life. He’s actually probably the hottest person Jared’s seen ever.

Right there, Jared decides to un-quit.

Jared’s totally cool with working in a cubicle for life.

*

_ **One: Make a Good First Impression** _

“So I hear you have a disease.” It’s the first thing that Jared ever says to Jensen Ackles and afterwards, he kind of wants to light himself on fire. He wishes he could push the convenient Email Message Recall button on his Outlook inbox or maybe press seven to re-record his voicemail but unfortunately, this is all happening in real time. All he can think is, That just happened.

Jensen sort of gapes at him, eyebrows raised so high that they’re practically to his hairline. “Excuse me?”

“Uh, not you,” Jared fumbles. “Your computer has a disease, I mean. You. I don’t know. You seem pretty disease free.”

Jensen just blinks and doesn’t say anything. “Disease?” he asks after awhile, when Jared’s done nothing but stare at him.

“Virus,” he clarifies. “I meant a virus.”

Jensen nods. “That makes more sense,” he says slowly but Jared can tell by his tone that Jensen doesn’t think he makes much sense at all.

Jared clears his throat and feels his face flush. He’s smart, really he is. He’s articulate and smooth and all around competent. Standing in Jensen’s office, though, he’s none of those things. He looks like someone slow that the company hired for a tax break.

“So. Your dis-- your virus,” Jared starts. “What happened?”

Jensen looks a little cagey, like he’s nervous about being in the same room with this guy and maybe a little anxious at the idea of encouraging a conversation between the two of them. “Well,” he says hesitantly. “All these pop-up boxes with weird error messages started coming up and I can’t get rid of them. And now I can’t send any emails.”

“Oh,” Jared says. The same thing happened to Katie in Customer Service two weeks ago so he thinks he knows the problem. He had to completely replace her PC and reformat everything, which took him almost an hour, basically working through his entire lunch. It was such a pain in the ass but he’s grateful to at least have an idea so that he doesn’t look like a complete jackass in front of Jensen. Right now, Jared needs all the help that he can get in that area.

“Yeah,” Jensen says slowly, when Jared’s back to staring again. “I can leave you to do what you do.”

“You can stay if you like,” Jared suggests.

Jensen looks at him a little warily and says, “No. I’ll go.”

Jared nods, disappointed but not entirely surprised. He wouldn’t want to be stuck in a cramped office with himself right now, either.

He maneuvers out from around his desk and pauses awkwardly in front of Jared, waiting for him to move so that Jensen can get by and make a hasty exit but Jared remains immobile. He’s not trying to make Jensen even more uncomfortable than he already is, he’s honestly not, but up close Jared can see his freckles and his mouth and Christ, those eyes, and he kind of freezes on the spot.

“Can I?” he asks cautiously, gesturing to the door.

“Oh, uh. Yeah, sorry.” Jared backs up a few steps.

“Thanks,” Jensen tells him, not making eye contact. Up this close, Jared can smell Jensen’s aftershave, probably some kind of Axe, and whatever brand of gum he was chewing. He feels creepy for noticing it but files the information away for later nevertheless. He figures that if Jensen doesn’t want people being all creepy around him, then he shouldn’t be so ridiculously good looking.

He watches Jensen go and then Jared’s left to himself in his office, alone to mess around with the company PC of the hottest guy Jared could possibly ever meet. He decides right then and there that Jensen Ackles is probably the love of his life.

\---

Jared spends the next ten minutes poking around Jensen’s office, which he thinks may be a little illegal, or at the very least unethical. He wonders briefly how long Jensen will be gone for because he figures he should actually be sitting at Jensen’s desk doing actual technical things to his actual computer when he returns.

He sits down and looks around at the few personal effects Jensen has on his cluttered desk. There’s a small picture frame holding a professional photo of what looks like Jensen’s family, judging by the fact that Jensen looks about fifteen years younger with the typical 90s blonde highlights in his hair. He’s got a pretty attractive family and Jared muses that he and Jensen would have some good looking kids if the two of them were scientifically able to like, procreate.

Jared glances up to the small bulletin board hanging on Jensen’s wall, relatively empty save for a photocopy of a fractions-to-decimals chart, a map of the U.S. with pushpins stuck into locations that are completely indiscernible to Jared, and a green Post-It that says “Misha 3137”. He assumes it’s the receptionist’s extension but he refuses to dwell on it because hey, maybe the engineers just need to call the receptionist a lot. It’s possible.

Next to the bulletin board, there’s a flyer advertising a local band playing in two weeks hanging on the wall with a piece of Scotch tape and below that, a small Dilbert calendar, certain dates scribbled on with a Sharpie that Jared can’t quite make out.

All in all, Jared considers it a mini success. He’s now been able to deduce that Jensen comes from a seemingly good family, he likes music and fractions, and he has a sense of humor, albeit a marginally lame one. Plus, there’s no pictures of kids or a wife or anything domestic at all, which Jared counts as the biggest victory as all. If Jensen’s single and even slightly gay, Jared decides he’ll do whatever God tells him to do for the rest of his life.

He shuts down Jensen’s computer, restarts it and runs an in-depth virus scan. McAfee tells him he has about twenty three minutes to wait so he heads out of Jensen’s office and out of Engineering and makes his way upstairs to the Maintenance room.

He needs to find Chad.

\---

The Maintenance room is empty when Jared gets there but he’s not entirely surprised. It looks like a FEMA disaster area and smells like a bathhouse so it’s not like Jared expects the maintenance guys to spend any length of time there. Jared’s not sure if Chad keeps it that way to keep other people out or because he’s genuinely comfortable with the whole FEMA/bathhouse vibe.

Jared’s operating on a schedule so he quickly runs through all of Chad’s possible whereabouts in his head. The corporate building is huge and there are countless departments with numerous single women for Chad to sexually harass so Jared decides to hit up the most common locations. He checks the cafeteria, then outside the women’s restroom in Customer Service, then inside the women’s restroom in Customer Service, and finally the main lobby. As an afterthought, he heads towards the back entrance through the manufacturing plant to the tent where all of the smokers convene. Chad doesn’t smoke but he’ll do practically anything to avoid working; he pretty much has it down to an art form.

Sure enough, Chad’s leaning up against a brick wall, trying to hit on some of the illegal immigrants that work on the manufacturing line. They’re all staring at Chad, mostly bemused and probably not understanding a word he’s saying.

“Hey,” Jared calls from the doorway. “Leave them alone to smoke their Marlboros in peace.”

Chad squints into the sunlight and tries to get a view of whoever’s talking to him. “Jay?” he tries.

“Yeah. Get in here, I need your help.”

Chad huffs, like Jared just committed some kind of horrific cockblocking. “Dude, I’m working,” he says.

Jared barely restrains an eye roll. “You’re not, actually. You’re creeping out the girls from Quality Control.”

“Fuck off, man. I got this in the bag.”

Jared sighs. “They can hear you.”

“They’re Mexican,” Chad responds like it means something, like maybe he thinks Mexican means deaf.

“Get in here. Seriously,” Jared tells him and he must pick up on something in Jared’s voice because he lets out an exaggerated sigh and pushes off from the wall.

“Fine.” He tosses some words over his shoulder to the plant girls, words like tocador and cuchara, as if throwing out random words he remembers from his 9th grade Spanish class will cement his irresistibility to each and every one of them.

Jared wonders, and not for the first time, how his best friend ever gets laid.

“So where’s the fire?” Chad asks as they walk back through the plant towards Maintenance. He pauses and then, “There’s not actually a fire, right? I’m still too hung-over to operate an extinguisher.”

“No,” Jared answers. “No fire. I just need your help with a new … project.”

Chad raises an eyebrow. “Project.”

“Yeah. I need for you to find out some stuff. About someone.”

Chad doesn’t say anything until they get to Chad’s quasi-office, where he flops down on what might be a couch. Or possibly an inflatable water raft, although Jared can’t figure out how it ended up in a vinyl siding plant.

“So. Who am I stalking for you?” he says finally.

“You’re not stalking anyone,” Jared tells him. “Think of it more as information retrieval.”

“Uh huh,” Chad says, unconvinced. “Who am I retrieval-ing for you?”

“Jensen Ackles. He works in Engineering. I think he might be new.”

Chad blinks at him a few times before responding. “Wait. This guy works here?”

“Yeah. So?”

“So? So you work for I.T., you dumb shit.”

“And?”

“And you have all of his information at your fingertips! You work for I.T. ,” he repeats slowly, like Jared’s drunk.

Jared shakes his head and tries to act like he’s insulted. “That’s so insanely illegal,” he tells him.

Chad just stares at him, unconvinced.

“Okay, fine,” Jared adds. “And if he ever found out, he’d either think I was some lying liar or some cyber stalker. Neither one of those options sound too appealing to me.”

“But it’s okay for me for me to look like a liar and a stalker?”

Jared thinks of saying, Well, obviously, yeah. Instead, he just shrugs his shoulders and figures that Chad gets the message anyway.

He doesn’t seem too offended, though. He leans back and looks at Jared, slightly speculative. “You owe me, asshole,” he says almost good-naturedly, no trace of the annoyance that Jared had counted on.

Jared beams. “That’s a yes?”

Chad rolls his eyes and ignores him. “I’m serious, man. You owe me big. I’m talking like, hookers and some blow and a widescreen TV. And a bag of Cheetos, the name brand kind, none of that generic shit.”

“Whatever,” Jared replies, heading for the door. “I gotta go. Let me know when you’ve got something.”

He heads back to check on the McAfee scan progress and thinks about how grateful he is for computer viruses.

\---

Jared’s been working on the computer for a solid hour when Jensen shows back up. He’s busy re-installing one of the several programs that ended up being infected when he looks up and catches Jensen staring at him from the doorway.

“You’re still here,” Jensen says, sounding so dismayed that Jared almost flinches.

“Sorry,” Jared says, flashing him a smile. He can pretty much count on one hand the number of people immune to that smile, namely Chad and blind people.

But Jensen doesn’t have much of a reaction, outside of blinking and swallowing. Jared can’t figure out if Jensen’s flustered or just needed to, you know, blink and swallow.

“You think it’ll be awhile longer?” he asks, still hovering awkwardly in his own doorway.

“Maybe,” Jared says. “It’s actually worse than I thought it was. If I can’t get a few of these programs to start up properly, I might have to replace the whole hard drive.”

“Oh,” Jensen says. “This sounds time consuming.”

Jared shrugs. “Shouldn’t be too bad. Give me another twenty minutes and then I can tell you if I’m just going to replace the whole thing.”

Jensen nods and Jared expects to him to book it out of there and check back in in a half an hour but instead, he walks over to his desk and shuffles through a few stacks of paperwork until he finds what he’s looking for.

“I’ll just sit over here,” he tells Jared, gesturing to a worn red leather chair shoved into the corner. “If that’s okay with you?”

Jared grins again. “It’s your office, man. Do what you want.”

They spend the next fifteen minutes in relative silence and when Jared looks over at him next, he sees Jensen skimming through a few pieces of paper spread out over his lap. He’s suddenly got a pair of glass perched on the edge of his nose and he’s biting his lip in concentration.

Jared’s eyes widen and he knows, just knows, that he’s going to say something awkward and unprofessional like, I bet I can get us both naked in less than sixty seconds or maybe, Have you ever had sex on your desk? Because I haven’t and it looks awesome.

But instead what comes out is, “So are you new here?” Jared inwardly cringes because it comes out sounding alarmingly close to So do you come here often?

Jensen’s head snaps up, surprised at the sudden conversation. “Uh, no. I’ve been here for almost two years.”

“No way,” Jared says forcefully and immediately, before he can censor himself.

“It’s true,” Jensen says, confused. “I don’t really have a reason to make that up.”

“No way,” he repeats. “I would have noticed you.”

Jensen takes off his glasses and looks even more confused. “What? What does that even mean?”

Jared blinks and wills himself into silence. Instead of climbing out of the hole he’s dug for himself in front of Jensen, he just keeps on digging. “Nothing,” he says finally.

They go back to not talking while Jared re-starts the computer again. He does a little fist pump when all of the programs start up successfully and glances over at Jensen, who’s watching him contemplatively.

“It worked?” he asks simply, and Jared can’t tell if Jensen is laughing at him or laughing with him or maybe even devoid of all emotion like some kind of man-bot.

“Yeah , you’re all good to go.” He stands up and offers Jensen’s chair back to him. “Sorry for taking so long. I’ll get out of your way.”

Jensen watches him for a few more moments and then stands to make his way back to his desk. He almost brushes up against Jared when he walks past but Jared can’t figure out if it’s intentional or not. His heartbeat picks up for a few seconds either way.

He watches Jensen mess around with the programs and send a test email for a few minutes before he realizes that he’s randomly standing in some dude’s office, staring at him and intently watching him send an email. No wonder Jensen thinks he’s disturbing; he kind of is.

Jensen turns to face him. “Thanks, man. It works even better than it did before.” And then he smiles. He smiles and Jared about falls over.

“No problem,” he says, trying to sound casual. “It’s what they pay me for.”

“Right,” Jensen agrees. “Well, thanks anyway.”

Jared forces himself to turn around before he starts acting all creepy again and he gets almost to the door when Jensen clears his throat. Jared turns to face him.

“You never told me your name,” Jensen points out.

Jared grins so hard it almost hurts because Jensen wants to know his name and it’s pretty much the best day Jared’s ever lived. “Jared,” he says. “I’m Jared.”

“Jared,” Jensen repeats, and he feels like he’s hearing his own name for the first time when he hears Jensen say it. “Nice to meet you, Jared.” He even looks like he means it.

At that, he turns back to his computer and apparently, the conversation is over. Jared leaves his office and starts the walk back to his desk as he waits for his brain to pick back up and his heart to slow back down.

He tries to process the fact that Jensen wanted to know his name. Jared smiles to himself because Jensen Ackles might not know it yet but he’s going to fall for Jared Padalecki and he’s going to fall hard.

*

** _Two: Don't Show Intimacy at Work_ **

“So here’s my problem,” Jared tells Sophia the following Monday. “There’s this guy that I’ve been trying to hit on, okay.”

He’s sitting on the edge of Katie’s desk in Customer Service. It’s pretty much his favorite department, and the amount of time he spends there is a pretty clear indicator. It’s a big department with close to thirty girls but Jared always winds up in the same room he’s sitting in now, with three huge wooden desks all crammed together and a big dry erase board hanging on the wall with Bush, Cassidy, & McCoy written in multi-color ink.

“Okay,” Sophia responds as she hunches over one of her desk drawers, digging through some hanging file folders. “But I’m not seeing how that’s a problem.”

“Well, I can’t tell if he’s completely unreceptive or if he’s just oblivious. It’s frustrating.”

Katie raises an eyebrow and looks away from her monitor to give him a disbelieving look. “Have you met you, Jared? You’re not exactly subtle. Unless this guy is completely brain-dead, he’s not oblivious.”

Jared thinks. “Damn, I was afraid of that. I gotta step up my game.”

Sophia lets out a disgusted noise and says, “Don’t say things like that. You’re starting to sound like Chad.” Her phone rings before he has to come up with a response and he watches her put on her cordless headset. “Thanks for calling Customer Service; this is Sophia,” she says cheerfully and Jared rolls his eyes.

“I hate when you guys actually do work when I need you. It’s annoying.”

Katie rolls her eyes right back at him. “I’m so sorry my paycheck is more important than your non-existent love life, Padalecki. Be a man and suck it up.”

Jared opens his mouth to fight back but he and Katie both startle when Sandy lets out an exaggerated, angry sigh. Jared turns to face her, eyes wide in surprise. Sandy’s the sweeter of the three reps and usually pretty difficult to rile.

“You okay?” Katie asks.

“No!” she answers as she furiously types an email. “I’ve got a contractor on hold and we’ve been on the phone for almost twenty minutes and I can’t understand anything he’s talking about! I can’t get a hold of any of the engineers to conference in on the phone call and help out.” She sighs again.

“What’s he need?” Katie asks.

“I don’t know,” Sandy grumbles. “I can’t even tell if he’s speaking English. He keeps asking about installation guidelines but he doesn’t like any of my answers.”

Katie snorts. “Good luck with the engineers. None of them have answered any of my calls all morning.”

“Which engineers?” Jared asks curiously. He hadn’t even thought that Customer Service could help him out with his information retrieval.

“All of them,” she answers. “They’re almost as bad as the Warranty department. They see our name on their phone display and pretty much refuse to answer.”

“All of the engineers are like that?” he asks, only half listening to her.

But before she can answer, there’s a soft knock on the open door. “Sandy?” someone says.

Jared jerks around because unless his subconscious is messing with him, he knows that voice.

“Jensen!” Sandy exclaims. “Thank God! I need your help.”

Jared meets his eyes and when Jensen sees him, he blinks quickly and gives Jared a small smile. “Yeah, I got your voicemail,” he tells her and when he breaks the eye contact, Jared can almost physically feel it.

“I brought up what I think he’s talking about,” Jensen continues, holding up a sample of insulated siding.

Sandy exhales, sounding completely relieved. “You’re a lifesaver. He’s on hold right now -- any chance you’d be able to talk to him for me?”

Jensen seems to think it over and he shrugs. “Yeah, sure.”

Her eyes widen and she jumps out of her chair to let him sit down. “Thank you so much!”

He watches Jensen pick up the phone call and start to talk about things that make absolutely no sense to Jared. Sandy comes over to stand in front of him, eyes still huge. They all gather by Katie’s desk and Sophia whispers, “I can’t believe you got him to talk to a customer.” She sounds completely awed.

“I know,” Sandy whispers back. “I’m still reeling.”

Jared’s forehead wrinkles in confusion. “I don’t get it,” he says quietly. “What’s the big deal?”

“Engineers hate talking to customers. They hate helping us in general,” Katie explains in hushed tones. “And Jensen, he barely talks to anyone ever. It’s kind of a big deal.”

“Oh,” Jared says. “He some kind of idiot savant or something?”

All three of them hush him. “He can hear you,” Sandy shushes. “I don’t want him to know we’re talking about him!”

“He’s in mid-conversation,” Jared says defensively. “Relax.”

They’re all quiet for a minute and Jared clears his throat, trying to sound casual. “So, what do you guys know about him?”

“Jensen?” Sandy asks and Jared nods in response.

“Next to nothing,” Sophia replies wistfully. “We’ve been trying to get him to come out for Thirsty Thursdays down at the bar for almost a year but it’s hopeless.” She pauses to make sure Jensen’s still talking on the phone and not able to hear the conversation taking place three feet away from him. “I’m assuming his wife’s not a big drinker,” she continues, still whispering.

“Wife?” Jared asks reflexively.

Katie raises an eyebrow. “There is no way that someone that good-looking is unmarried. No way.”

“He’s not wearing a ring,” Jared says quietly before he can think better of it.

They all turn to look at him, mouths hanging open.

“Why do you know that he’s not wearing a ring?” Katie asks.

“Jensen?” Sophia hisses. “You’ve been hitting on Jensen? That’s who you were talking about earlier?”

“So?” Jared asks, feeling himself flush. “What’s the big deal?”

But before any of them can answer, they hear Jensen end the call and when they turn to face him, Jensen’s staring at them all suspiciously. “Okay,” he says slowly. “Well, I’m going back downstairs to my office now.”

“Thanks for your help,” Sandy says gratefully.

“No problem,” he answers, still looking a little tense. “See ya,” he tells them, glancing at Jared before he leaves.

“See ya,” Jared echoes weakly.

When Sandy’s convinced that Jensen’s out of earshot, she smacks Jared on the arm and puts more force into it than he would have thought possible.

“Back off,” she demands. “You’re not going to get anywhere with him, trust me.”

“I feel a bet coming on,” Jared says casually. “But I’m going to have to decline because then when Jensen and I get married, things are going to be awkward between me and you.”

She shakes her head and walks back to her desk, not even dignifying it with a response.

“Whatever,” Katie mutters. “I can’t wait to see this all go down.”

“No faith,” he tells all three of them. “You guys have no faith in me or my mad skills.”

“Stop it,” Sophia says, giving him a serious look. “You sound like Chad when you say things like that. It makes me feel like I should sanitize something.”

“How come you guys never told me about him?” Jared asks instead of defending Chad.

“Everyone knows about Jensen,” Katie says. “His existence is kind of implied to everyone that works here, idiot.”

“Like Misha,” Sandy says dreamily.

“Yeah,” Sophia agrees, sounding breathless. “Like Misha.”

“Hmm,” Katie chimes in. “Misha.”

“Yeah, okay. This is my cue to leave,” Jared states. “I have to go think of ways to cozy up to the hot engineer.”

Sophia looks at him quizzically. “Have you seriously been hitting on him? Like, for real?”

Jared shrugs. “Sort of. I managed to time it so that we were walking to the parking lot at the same time last week and on Friday, I smiled at him after I followed him into the mailroom. I haven’t been able to lock in any one-on-one time yet, though.”

He sees Sandy shake her head out of the corner of his eye. “Give it up,” she tells him. “This is one you’re not going to win.”

“We’ll see.” He heads towards the door and then suddenly turns back to face Katie. “Oh hey, I keep forgetting. How’s your computer doing? Still functional?”

“Yes,” she answers. “Stop asking. It’s fine.”

“I just like to check up on my work,” he says defensively.

“Go check up on someone else,” she says simply and the light turns on in Jared’s head.

“Yeah,” he says thoughtfully. “Yeah, I think I will.”

\---

Ten minutes later, Jared’s hanging out under Jensen’s doorway, after he’s grabbed some gum from his cubicle and checked his hair over.

“Hey,” he says and waits for Jensen to look up at him.

When Jensen turns his head and sees him, his mouth twitches like he's trying not to grin. “Hey,” he replies.

“Just wanted to check on your computer. How’s it working?” Jared’s pretty impressed with how well he pulls it off, how he makes the question sound legit and not like a flimsy, pathetic excuse to have a conversation with Jensen.

“Good,” Jensen answers.

“Good,” Jared echoes lamely. He desperately tries to think of something else to say and berates himself for not planning the rest of this conversation out in his head.

“Okay, well,” Jared starts. “I’ll, uh. Go then.”

“Okay,” Jensen agrees, mouth still twitching.

\---

On Tuesday, Jared heads to Jensen’s office after his lunch. “How’s the computer?” he asks, peeking his head in.

“Still good,” Jensen says, eyes crinkling around the corners as he offers Jared a smile.

Jared’s breath catches in his throat. “Good,” he says on an exhale, barely audible.

\---

On Wednesday, he doesn’t even wait until his lunch break is over before he heads downstairs. “Your computer still working?” he asks as he walks into Jensen’s office without knocking.

“Still working,” Jensen tells him, sounding bemused. He waits for Jared to say something else and when he doesn’t, he turns back to his computer monitor and says, “I bet you it’s still going to be working tomorrow, too.”

“Never know,” Jared smiles and he heads out. “I’ll check just in case,” he calls out over his shoulder.

\---

On Thursday, he doesn’t even go to the cafeteria, just goes straight to Jensen’s office as soon as his lunch breaks starts, carrying his frozen burrito with him. “Is it working today, too?” he asks, sitting down on Jensen’s red leather chair.

Jensen doesn’t even look up. “Today, too,” he repeats dryly. “It’s crazy how it just keeps on working. It’s almost like you fixed it or something.”

“Very funny,” Jared says. “I just like to be thorough, make sure I did my job right.”

“Hm,” Jensen replies, unconvinced. “You have some kind of satisfaction questionnaire I can fill out? It might be easier.”

“Nah,” he says, leaning forward. “I like to personally handle the follow-up. Gives it a special touch.”

Jensen finally looks over and his eyes flicker with something that Jared can’t quite identify as they make eye contact. It’s fucking intense and Jared’s not able to look away. He’s aware that he’s gone from staring to all out leering.

Eventually, Jensen clears his throat and says, “Shouldn’t you be eating your lunch somewhere?”

Jared shrugs and holds up his burrito. “I’ll microwave this and eat it on the go.” He pauses and then, “How come I never see you in the cafeteria?”

“I don’t really take lunches. I’m usually too busy.” He raises his eyebrow and if it’s a hint, Jared ignores it.

“You skip lunch everyday? That’s not healthy.”

“No,” he says, pointing to Jared’s burrito. “That’s not healthy. Those things will burn a hole in your stomach lining.”

“Aw, I didn’t know you cared,” Jared teases but it doesn’t get a reaction.

Jensen goes back to his work and Jared takes a deep breath. “You should come out with us after work,” he suggests. “A bunch of us go out for dollar beers down at O’Reilly’s. They have killer nachos, if you’re hungry.”

Jensen doesn’t say anything but he looks at Jared hard, like he’s sizing him up. Jared waits for him to say something about getting home to his girlfriend or having too much work or maybe even laughing in his face and applying for a restraining order.

“Okay,” Jensen says and Jared’s so surprised that he almost chokes.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He gives Jared another one of those smiles that makes it all the way up to his eyes and Jared can’t do anything but grin back.

“Okay,” he says standing up. “Five o’clock. See you then.”

He returns to his cubicle and waits for the rest of the day to crawl by. He’s jittery and nervous until he gets an email from Katie and then he thinks, Yeah, I can do this.

\---Original Message---  
From: Sandra McCoy  
Sent: Monday, April 13, 2009 3:13 PM  
To: Jared Padalecki  
Subject: get over yourself

We’re still laughing at you up here, you know. He’s not going to date you. You’re delusional. The end.

Sandy McCoy  
Customer Service, extension 3003

\---Original Message---  
From: Jared Padalecki  
Sent: Thursday, April 16, 2009 12:43 PM  
To: Sandra McCoy  
Cc: Katie Cassidy; Sophia Bush  
Subject: RE: get over yourself

Just an FYI, our favorite engineer will be joining us for Thirsty Thursday so make sure you get yourselves all dolled up.

No need to apologize for doubting my awesome skills. Just knowing that I was right and you were wrong is enough for me.

Jared Padalecki  
Information Technology  
Extension 3131

From: Katie Cassidy  
Sent: Thursday, April 16, 2009 4:53 PM  
To: Jared Padalecki  
Cc: Sandra McCoy; Sophia Bush  
Subject: RE: get over yourself

Damn, you’re good.

Katie Cassidy  
Customer Service  
Ext. 3007

\---

Chad’s already at the bar when Jared gets there and he's completely unsurprised. He’s probably been there since lunch.

“How drunk are you?” Jared asks warily as he pulls up a stool next to him.

“Not very,” he answers. “Gimme an hour.”

“No,” Jared says. “Don’t go overboard tonight. Jensen’s coming and we have to make a good impression.”

“We?” Chad asks incredulously.

“What’s the plan here?” he wonders aloud, ignoring Chad.

“Plan? Plan for what?”

“For getting me laid,” Jared explains.

Chad lets out a disappointed sigh. “This is so gay.” He pauses. “Well, Cosmo had an article about the effectiveness of jealousy,” he says, without even a note of irony.

“Wow,” Jared mocks. “You read Cosmo in the girls’ bathroom and I’m the gay one.”

“Bitch, please. You’re talking about sex with another dude. Isn’t that the definition of gay? I can do as many homoqueer things I want and still not be as gay as you.”

“Okay, see, that right there. Don’t say things like that in front of Jensen.”

“Whatever,” Chad responds, completely disinterested.

“So jealousy, you say. What do I do, just hit on people in front of him?”

“How the fuck should I know?”

“C’mon!” Jared says loudly, punching his arm. “I need your help here. How does jealousy work?”

Chad gives him a humorless look. “Are you trying to tell me that you’ve never been jealous before?”

Jared frowns. “Yeah. Why, is that weird?”

Chad sighs and sounds completely put-upon. “I can’t explain jealousy to you, Jay.”

He shrugs and looks around the bar. “There’s Mike from HR. Maybe I could hit on him?”

Chad stares at him, horrified.

“Apparently not. How about Tom?” The mailroom guy’s a little creepy and weird but he’s not unattractive so Jared thinks it might work.

“I'm completely against this plan,” Chad says by way of an answer. “And that should tell you something.”

The girls come in then, followed by Gabe from the Help Desk and Aldis in Purchasing. They all crowd around the bar except for Sophia, who tries to keep her distance from Chad.

The music starts up from the jukebox and the whole bar sings along to Journey. “First carafe of shots is on me!” Katie yells over the noise.

Jared’s already downed two shots when he finally sees Jensen walk in. He lets himself stare at Jensen in a way he can’t get away with at work. He takes in his green button up with the top two buttons undone, he gray dress pants, his carefully messy hair. He takes it all in and just wants.

“Oh my God, it’s Misha,” he hears Katie say over his shoulder and Jared snaps out of it. Sure enough, the receptionist is walking in, side-by-side with Jensen.

“Jared, I love you,” Katie breathes into his ear. “You got Misha here and I love you.”

Jared turns around and sits with his back to the bar while Jensen walks up to him.

“Hey,” he says with a small smile. “You know Misha right?”

“Yeah,” Jared says with a forced smile. “Course I do.”

He watches them go order a beer and feels Chad’s eyes on him. “Don’t do it, man,” he says. “It’s stupid and it’s going to backfire.”

“You’re the one that suggested jealousy!” he retorts, keeping his voice down.

“Right,” Chad answers with the sarcasm dripping, “And of course I’ve never suggested anything stupid before.”

Jared ignores him and makes his way over to Gabe, who’s standing next to the jukebox with some girl. “Hey,” he says casually, draping an arm across Gabe’s shoulders. He makes sure they’re in full view of Jensen.

“Hey,” Gabe replies cautiously. He stares up at Jared, looking equal parts uncomfortable and scared.

“So how you doing?” Jared tries lamely. Gabe looks down at Jared’s hand on his shoulder and then back up to Jared.

“I’m good, Jared. How are you?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Jared watches Jensen smile at something Misha says and without thinking, he starts laughing at Gabe like he’s a final contestant on Last Comic Standing. Gabe visibly jolts at the sudden outburst.

“That’s a good one, Gabe!” Jared says, clapping him on the back.

Gabe blinks. “What’s going on? I don’t understand.”

Jared ignores him. “So, who’s your friend here?” he asks, gesturing to the girl standing with him.

Gabe looks at him with disbelief. “This is my wife,” he says dryly.

“You’re married?” Jared gapes. “Dammit, then this isn’t going to work.”

His eyes get wide. “What isn’t going to work?” he asks, sounding a little terrified.

“Oh not us, ” Jared says. “I mean my plan won’t work.” He gestures between the two of them as if that explains everything.

“Yeah, I got that,” Gabe says quickly, still looking spooked. “Look, I’m gonna go grab another beer and just. I don’t know, pretend that you’re already drunk.”

He sort of runs away and Jared walks back towards Chad in defeat.

“That didn’t go so well,” he informs Chad.

“Yeah, I saw.”

“You saw that? All of that?”

“Yeah. Pretty impressive.”

“How about Jensen?” Jared asks belatedly. “Did he see?”

Chad raises an eyebrow. “No. He didn’t look up until Gabe was running away from you.” He takes a pull from his beer bottle and says, “That’s called a backfire, by the way. Just like I said.”

“Whatever, asshole. I’ll try one more time.” He looks around for Tom.

“Jared,” he sighs. “Don’t.”

Jared waves him off and heads towards the pool table, downing half his beer on the way.

He stops a few inches short of Tom and gestures to the pool table. “Wanna play?” he asks, and tries for seductive.

Tom just stares at him, face pretty much expressionless.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Tom answers.

Jared wonders confusedly if that’s code for something. He cocks his head and watches Tom walk away. There’s a polite cough next to him and Jared looks over to see Mike standing just inches away.

“Hi,” he says politely. Mike’s a cool guy. Jared likes him because he's mellow and patient and that’s pretty much all you can ask for from the Director of Human Resources.

“I will kill you,” Mike says in response.

Jared laughs but Mike’s face doesn’t change. After a tense silence, Jared laughs again but this time, it’s awkward.

“Uh, are you allowed to say that? Aren’t threats against our policy on violence in the workplace?” Jared thinks that the man in charge of creating the policies should know these things.

Mike rolls his eyes. “If you’ve got a complaint, take it to HR.” He walks off in the direction of the bathrooms.

Jared makes his way back to Chad. “I suck at this,” he mutters, dropping his head on to the bar.

“If it makes you feel any better, Jensen looked across the room just in time to watch you get threatened by a man half your size.”

Jared lifts his head. “How would that make me feel better?”

“Oh, did I say you? I meant me,” Chad laughs. “It makes me feel better.”

“I’m glad my personal humiliation is amusing to you.”

“Me, too,” he agrees, still laughing.

The girls come over, already a little tipsy and it’s not even eight o’clock. “Come on,” Sandy giggles at him, pulling on his arm. “Why are you over here being so anti-social? Come dance.”

“No,” he tells her. “Absolutely not.”

Somehow, they settle for dancing with Chad and Jared ends up sitting up at the bar alone, watching Jensen and Misha stand really close to each other. They like to do that a lot, Jared notices. And they’re good at it.

He watches them some more and then orders another beer. He turns his back to the bar to stop himself from staring at Jensen and his stupid Misha.

Jared picks at the label to his Coors Light bottle until he feels someone settle onto the stool to his right. He looks over to see Jensen staring at him, cheeks slightly flushed from the alcohol. It makes his freckles even more prominent and Jared’s throat is suddenly dry.

“Here you are,” Jensen comments.

“Here I am,” Jared repeats, his voice sounding strangled.

They sit in silence for awhile until Jensen says, “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Sure,” Jared replies. “Still can’t believe you came.”

“Really?” Jensen asks, frowning. “Why?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. You seem too good for this stuff.”

Jensen raises an eyebrow.

“Not too good like, in the conceited sense!” Jared stumbles. “But too cool to go out and get a beer with work people.”

Jensen raises his eyebrow even higher.

“Not like you’re some kind of dick or anything!” he tries to clarify. “God, I’m just going to stop talking.”

Jensen bites his lip and Jared can’t tell if he’s fighting back a grin or just a really angry insult.

Turns out, it’s a grin. “Is that your version of a compliment, Jared? If so, I feel pretty bad for you.”

Jared rolls his eyes and feels his cheeks start to color. “No, that wasn’t a compliment, jackass.”

“Phew,” Jensen says, pretending to let out a sigh of relief. “I was going to wonder how you ever got laid.”

“I do fine, thank you very much,” Jared says plainly. “But thanks for your concern.”

Jensen laughs and it’s a real, true, deep laugh. It makes Jared’s stomach drop and his heart race and his throat dry and his hands sweat and suddenly, he’s almost become every girl in every romance novel in existence.

“Stop laughing,” Jared says. “I do fine.”

Jensen gives him a patronizing nod. “Okay, Casanova.”

Jared sighs. “I liked you better when you didn’t talk to me.”

They look at each other and Jared forces himself to swallow. It feels like it’s A Moment, or at least like it’s on its way to becoming A Moment. Jensen smiles at him, almost shy and --

Katie and Sandy shriek out simultaneously from across the bar. Jensen snaps his gaze away and turns his attention towards them while Jared feels like he's reeling.

Jared looks over to find them running towards the bathroom and he sees Chad leaning on the jukebox, half-unconscious. “Shit,” Jared says, annoyed.

Jensen looks at him quizzically.

“I’m pretty sure Chad just puked on himself again.” He stands and gestures to the girls’ bathroom. “And I’m assuming on them, too.”

“Again?” Jensen asks.

“It happens sometimes, yeah.”

“Huh.” He looks at Jared. “You two good friends?”

Jared hesitates. “You’re going to judge me if I say yes, aren’t you?”

Jensen smirks. “You told me I had a disease the first time you came into my office. I’ve been judging you since I met you.”

He laughs. “Good to know. Guess that means we’ve got no place to go but up.”

Jensen ducks his head. “Guess so.”

They’re quiet and Jared clears his throat. “I gotta, you know. Take him home. Clean him up.” He waves in the general direction of where he thinks Chad might be, not taking his eyes off of Jensen.

“Okay.”

“So, uh. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Okay,” Jensen says again.

He watches Jensen go collect Misha and they both wave as they push through the doors to leave. He turns to watch Chad try to remain upright against the wall and congratulates God on his sense of humor. “Laugh it up, Big Guy,” he says to himself as he walks towards his friend.

So yeah, he winds up taking Chad home again for the billionth Thursday in a row but he’s fairly certain that next time, it’ll be a hot engineer in the passenger seat of his car.

*

** _Three: Remember That You'll Be the Source of Office Gossip_ **

Chad makes the whole vomit ordeal up to him when he saunters into Jared’s cubicle the next morning, clutching a Post-It note and wearing a smarmy grin.

“Danneel Harris,” he says, waving the Post-It note around.

Jared looks up from the laptop he’s trying to restore and waits for Chad to continue.

“Danneel Harris,” he repeats, drawing the syllables out.

“Okay,” Jared says. “What about her?”

Chad waves the Post-It in front of Jared’s face. “I totally got her number.”

“Yeah, awesome,” Jared responds, rapidly losing interest. “Can I get back to work now?”

Chad sits on Jared desk and shoves a few things aside to make some room. Jared tries to protest but he’s too tired.

“That wasn't the good part of my story,” Chad tells him.

“Great,” he says. “I’m on the edge of my seat.”

“Don’t be a dick,” Chad says simply. “I’ve got news on Operation Homoland Security.”

“Operation Homoland Security?”

“Yeah. You know, the thing where you treat me like a little bitch and I stalk your boyfriend so that you’re only a stalker-by-acquaintance?”

“Oh. That,” Jared says. “Why are we calling it Operation Homoland Security?”

Chad shrugs. “You have me stalking a dude and finding personal information out about him. Treating it like a Special Ops mission makes me feel more like a man.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Playing make-believe makes you feel like more of a man?”

Chad gives him a bored look. “I can go, you asshole.” He moves to stand up.

“No, no. I’m sorry,” Jared says. “I’ll stop. What did you find out?”

“Danneel Harris,” Chad informs him. “Start there.”

Jared blinks. “That’s it? That’s all you found out?”

“They’re close, you dumb shit. Do you know how valuable she is to you? Haven’t you ever used someone to get to their friend?”

“What?” Jared asks, taken aback. “No!”

“Wow,” he says. “You have so much to learn.”

“I’m not using some girl to get to Jensen, Chad. That’s kind of sick.”

Chad shrugs. “That’s your choice, I guess.”

Jared thinks for a minute. “So they used to date or something?”

“How the fuck would I know?” Chad says. “All I know is that she has a few pictures of the two of them together on her desk. I saw them this morning.”

“You didn’t ask her? You suck at this information retrieval thing.”

“When I’m hitting on a girl,” Chad explains, “I don’t usually ask about the important men in her life.”

He gets a call on his Walkie-Talkie then and leaves without another word, leaving his orange Post-It on Jared’s desk.

He stares at it for a minute and makes up his mind, grabbing it and taking it with him through the hallway and down the stairs to Payroll.

\---

By the time Jared realizes that he has no idea what to say to Danneel, he’s standing at her cubicle, towering over her while she types an email.

She looks up at him and stares at him expectantly.

“Hi,” he says awkwardly.

She blinks and waits. Finally she says, “Can I help you?”

Jared tries to come up with a reason that he’s standing like a weirdo at her desk and fails miserably.

“How are you?” he asks weakly, stalling for time.

She ignores him. “Did you need something?”

“Your computer,” he says suddenly. “I heard you were having problems with your computer.”

“No,” she responds, not amused. “I’m not.”

“Oh. It must have been another Danneel then.”

“Probably,” she says wryly. “There are a lot of Danneels at this company.”

“Right,” he agrees slowly. “That’s true.”

She rolls her eyes then. “Why are you here?”

“Uh.” He takes a good look at her while she stares at him. Jared thinks to himself that she’s probably attractive, if you like the whole sexy hair, killer body, perfect teeth, stunning clothes type of thing.

“Ugh,” she groans. “Take a picture; it’ll last longer, you perv.”

Jared’s eyes get wide and he throws his hands up in protest. “No, no, no. I’m not hitting on you, I swear.”

“Uh huh,” she says unconvinced. She moves to pick up her phone and Jared gets a sudden picture of himself being escorted out by security through the front doors, right past Misha who’ll call Jensen immediately and relay the entire sordid tale.

He lets out a defeated sigh and resigns himself to telling the truth. “I’m not, I promise. I’m up here …” he trails off. “I’m up here because of Jensen.”

She puts the phone down and her expression changes. “Is he okay?”

“What? Oh yeah, he’s fine.”

“Okay,” she says slowly. “Then what’s this about?”

He swallows and looks away. He glances around her tiny cubicle and sees the photos that Chad mentioned earlier. There’s one stuck to her cubicle wall, the two of them standing outside an Olive Garden with Jensen in a tux and Danneel in what looks like a red prom dress. There’s a smaller framed picture next to her monitor of the two of them in a baseball stadium, proudly displaying their hot dogs for the camera.

Danneel follows his gaze to the picture and he looks at her in time to see her confused frown turn into a look of realization.

“Oh,” she breathes. “That.”

“So you two dating?” he asks, pretending to be oblivious.

She just smiles at him knowingly and cocks her head to the side. “No, why?”

“No reason,” he says casually.

“Hmm.” She waits a beat and then, “Well then, I better get back to work.”

“Okay, fine,” he huffs out, pulling up a chair from the empty cubicle across from them. “I was just wondering if he’s mentioned me at all.”

She leans back in her chair. “Wait. You must be the stalker from I.T.”

“What?” he asks, embarrassed. “He told you that?”

“No. That skeevy janitor guy was just talking about you.”

“Chad,” he mutters. “He needs to work on being stealthy.”

“Sweetheart, you came in and flailed around trying to bring up Jensen’s name. You need to work on being stealthy.”

“Yeah. You may have a point.”

“I do,” she says. “I know I do.”

He looks at his hands for a few seconds and then back up at Danneel. “So he hasn’t mentioned me?”

She lets out a surprised laugh. “What are we, twelve? This isn’t high school. I’m not passing him a note for you or giving you his locker combination.”

“I know,” he says defensively.

“If you like a boy,” she adds, “Then tell the boy, not his best friend.”

He thinks for a moment. “If I ask him out, what do you think he’ll say?”

She shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders. “I have no idea. Try it and find out.”

Jared sighs dramatically and stands up. “Okay, fine. Thanks for nothing,” he says, hearing the petulance in his own voice.

Before he walks away, she calls out for him. “Hey, Jared?”

“Yeah?” he answers, turning to face her.

“Every time the Kristens in Transportation ask me that question, I tell both of them that he’ll say no,” she says, her back to Jared and eyes on her computer screen. “If that counts for anything.”

Jared can feel himself grinning before he even realizes he’s doing it. “Thanks.”

He stands there awkwardly for a few more moments before he remembers the Post-It note in this hand.

“Oh yeah,” he says. “Do you want this back?”

He walks over and puts it on her desk next to her keyboard.

She looks down at the Post-It with her number on it and then back up to Jared.

“You probably don’t want him to have this,” Jared informs her. “Just trust me.”

“Thanks,” she says. “But it’s just the number for the pizza place on the corner.”

“Oh.” He grins some more at her. “I’ll keep that between you and me.”

She looks away and smiles softly. “Yeah. I can do that, too,” she says, and he can hear what she isn’t saying.

He nods, surprised, and figures that it’s the closest he’s going to get to the best friend seal of approval.

\---

Jared’s next stop is Customer Service but they’re all on the phone when he gets there so he has to wait for Katie to finish explaining the differences between slate gray and smoke gray to a customer before he can ask for advice.

“I need some help,” he tells her when she hangs up. “I’m asking him out, I’ve decided it.”

“That’s a good starting point,” she says.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “So what next?”

“What?” she laughs. “I don’t know. You act like you haven’t done this before.”

“I haven’t,” he says, confused.

Sandy turns to face them. “Oh, whatever.”

“Wait. What?” he asks.

She holds up a hand and starts counting off. “Brock, Milo, Chace, Teddy, should I continue?”

“Hey!” he exclaims, holding up a hand to stop her. “I did not sleep with Milo. That guy was fucking crazy.”

She turns back to her desk. “Doesn’t matter. You get my point.”

“You make me sound like some kind of manwhore,” he says defensively. “I’m not.”

Sandy shrugs and Sophia finally gets off the phone to join the conversation. “We’re not judging, Jared. It’s okay.”

“Maybe you’re not judging,” Katie says under her breath.

Sophia narrows her eyes and ignores her. “What you need to do is get him really drunk, Jared. That way he won’t be able to resist you.”

“Wow, that’s classy,” Katie interrupts.

“It works,” Sophia argues. “Ask him to a bar or take him to a kegger or something. That’s my advice.”

“That seems … sketchy,” Jared says hesitantly. “I want to get to know him, not accidentally take advantage of him.”

“My advice is to ignore her,” Katie says. “Just be casual. Take him to Taco Bell or invite him to watch a football game with you and Chad.”

“See, that seems like I’m giving the wrong vibe.”

“What vibe?”

“The whole, lets-be-friends thing. Plus, I’m not forcing Chad on him.”

“I don’t get it,” Katie says. “That’s what you always did before.”

He rolls his eyes. “Those guys were temps. It’s not like we were in it for the long haul.”

Katie leans back in her chair and Jared can feel Sophia’s eyes on him. They wait for him to continue and he feels like they’re waiting for him to say something important.

“It’s different,” he explains. “When I flirt with Jensen, it’s. I don’t know. I actually mean it.”

Sandy slowly turns to face them. “Yeah?”

He looks at her cautiously. “Yeah.”

Her face breaks out into a grin. “That’s awesome. Okay, so here’s what you want to do. Get him flowers. Or write him a poem or something. Send them secretly through the interoffice mail envelopes!”

Jared gapes at her. “You,” he says, pointing at her. “You can go back to refusing to give me advice.”

“It’s romantic,” she says defensively. “I think it’s sweet.”

“It’s terrible,” he tells her. “You all have awful advice.”

They all glare at him.

“I don’t want to get him loaded or be his football buddy or write him sonnets. I want to sleep with him.”

“I thought you wanted to date him!” Sandy says, sounding frustrated.

He sighs. “I do. But if I take your advice, he's going to think I’m trying to roofie him or ask him to pledge my fraternity or maybe ask him to the Sadie Hawkins dance.”

“Get out,” Katie says blandly as her phone rings. “You’re no longer welcome here.”

He slides off her desk and gives them all a disappointed look. “You guys really let me down,” he tells them as he walks out. “I expected so much more from you.”

\---

Jared stops by the women’s restroom on his way by to check for Chad. He’s in the second stall and Jared can hear the rustle of a magazine.

“I’m asking him out,” Jared tells him from the doorway, holding the door open.

“I don’t care,” Chad says.

“I need advice,” Jared replies.

“No.”

“Chad –”

“I said no. I’m busy right now.”

“But –”

“Look, I know you’re in love with me but this is my alone time, Jay. Show some restraint.”

Jared sighs. “Why are you even in here? This is a women’s restroom. You’re gonna get in trouble again.”

“There’s potpourri in here,” he points out. “And a year’s worth of Cosmo.”

Jared opens his mouth to respond but instead just turns away and lets the door swing shut. He’s probably safer without Chad’s advice anyway.

\---

Jared spends the next few hours doing actual work until Gabe calls him from the Help Desk. Jared hates phone calls from Gabe; it means that he’s needed somewhere.

“Can you head to the mail room?” he asks Jared. “Tom’s having an issue with the color copier.”

“The color -- I’m not a Xerox technician, Gabe.”

“I know.” He waits.

Jared huffs. He gets at least one call a week to fix a coffee maker or a microwave because he’s got the word technology in his job title and apparently, anything with an on/off button is fair game. It’s usually solved with a quick, “Plug it in,” or “Did you add water?” but it’s the principle of it.

“Fine. But only because you asked nicely and only because I like you.”

“Great,” Gabe says uncomfortably.

Jared closes his eye and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m not hitting on you.”

There’s silence until Gabe says, “Even better.”

\---

Jared fiddles around with the color copier for twenty minutes before he admits defeat to Tom. “I’m sorry, man. You should probably call this in. I think I’m making it worse.”

He looks over to Tom, who’s leaning up against the counter and staring intently across the mail room, not paying any attention to Jared whatsoever. Jared follows his gaze and spies Mike talking to Misha in the hallway, smiling and laughing. And standing close.

“I hate that guy,” Tom says calmly, crossing his arms across his chest.

Jared walks over to Tom and claims some counter space next to him to lean on. He crosses his arms and stares, too. “I know the feeling.”

“Everyone loves him,” Tom continues. “He’s always smiling. And talking to people.”

“And standing really close,” Jared adds. “He does that a lot, too.”

“I send him mail bombs once a month,” Tom says, like Jared’s not even there.

Jared blinks and tries to stop himself from inching away.

“Mike catches them every time, though. I don’t know how he does it.”

“Maybe you should try a new tactic,” Jared suggests and then feels immediately guilty for advocating violence in the workplace, especially to someone so clearly unstable. Belatedly, he hopes Tom’s not like, wearing a wire and working undercover for some kind of office safety committee.

“Yeah,” Tom says thoughtfully. “Why does he like everybody? It’s not normal.”

“I know,” Jared agrees. “He’s always hitting on my boyfriend.”

“You have a boyfriend?” he asks, eyes still on the hallway.

“Well, no. Not yet.”

“But he’s always hitting on this guy?”

Jared shrugs. “Actually, I don’t know. Probably.”

“We could join forces, if you want. But I think I work better alone.”

Jared looks at Tom out of the corner of his eye and tries to keep the fear out of his voice. “Yeah,” he says slowly. “I’ll think about it.”

\---

Jared finally goes down to Jensen’s office during his lunch hour. “I brought you a chicken salad sandwich,” Jared says when he walks in the room.

Jensen startles at the sudden entrance and then smiles when he sees Jared sit in the red chair.

“Wow, that’s thoughtful of you,” Jensen comments but Jared catches the insincerity. “How much did it cost?”

“I brought it from home,” he lies. “I made it.”

“Uh huh. The wrapper’s sticking out of your pocket, genius.”

Jared grins, unashamed, and holds the sandwich out to Jensen.

“No, thanks,” he says, wrinkling his nose. “I bet there’s not even chicken in that.”

Jared shrugs and takes a bite. Jensen watches, his face a mixture of fascination and revulsion.

“Don’t you do any work?” he asks. “Or do you just walk around and eat all day?”

“Mostly walk around. I used to work pretty hard but then I met you. Now I just visit people and talk about you.”

Jensen laughs. “Very funny.” He shakes his head and digs around through some piles of papers. Jared watches him, committing the way he looks in a gray sweater to memory.

“Next week, I’ll bring spaghetti. We can share.” Jared assumes the implication is clear. Everyone’s seen Lady and the Tramp.

“You do that,” Jensen says, rolling his eyes.

“Or. You know, we could go out and get spaghetti this weekend,” he suggests. He waits for Jensen’s answer and feels his heart rate pick up.

But Jensen just keeps shaking his head, like he’s amused by the whole ordeal.

It hits Jared right then, the irony of the situation. Everyone in the company thinks Jared’s hitting on them except for the one person he actually is hitting on. It’s pathetic.

“I’m hitting on you, you know,” Jared explains.

“Oh, I know,” Jensen tells him but with a tone that means he clearly doesn’t know.

“I spent all day figuring out what not to do,” he persists. “I really thought just being honest would work.”

Jensen stands up and pats Jared’s shoulder on the way out. “I have a meeting, buddy. Go fix a computer somewhere.”

Jared looks around dejectedly, like he can’t believe that actually just happened. “Next time I’m trying the kegger and the sonnets,” he says to the empty office. “Possibly the roofies.”

** _Four: Don't Get Drunk at Office Functions_ **

The next month seems to follow the same pattern and Jared starts to go a little insane.

“Well, have you made it clear that you’re into him?” Alison asks him from across the aisle. She works with him in I.T. and she’s maybe had to hear him complain even more than Chad has.

“I hit on him constantly,” he tells her. “I don’t know what else to do.”

“Maybe you need to be more obvious about it,” she offers.

“Sometimes when I’m hitting on him, I tell him I’m hitting on him. How do I get more obvious?”

She shrugs. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“It’s hopeless,” he says melodramatically. “I’ve done everything short of show up naked in his office.”

She raises an eyebrow.

“And I’ve thought about it,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. “But it’s probably unhygienic. And, you know. Unprofessional.”

“Have you tried getting him drunk? Maybe he’ll be more relaxed.”

“Yeah,” he says, slightly irritated. He doesn’t know why everyone seems to think that force-feeding Jensen a case of PBR and some Irish Car Bombs is the only way he’ll say yes to a date with Jared. It’s insulting and mildly disconcerting. This crush on Jensen had severely wounded Jared’s previously elevated self-esteem.

“He always thinks I’m kidding,” Jared says. “I bought him four shots last Thursday and the more drinks he had, the funnier he thought it was.”

She makes a sympathetic noise and he lowers his head down to his desk, resting it on his forearm. “I give up.”

Alison comes over to pat his back quickly before she leaves for the day.

He feels sorry for himself and thinks that he’s never had to work so hard for anything in his life.

\---

He emails Danneel the next week and informs her that she can, in fact, advise Jensen of their conversation. She remains unhelpful.

\---Original Message---  
To: Danneel Harris  
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 1:31 PM  
From: Jared Padalecki  
Subject: SOS

I’m failing miserably here. You should tell Jensen that I came to you for advice. Tell him that I was digging for information. Maybe then he’ll believe me.

Also, though, you should tell him that I was charming. And sincere. And maybe throw a few more things in.

Jared Padalecki  
Information Technology  
Extension 3131

To: Jared Padalecki  
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 1:37 PM  
From: Danneel Harris  
Subject: RE: SOS

Do it yourself, you child.

D. Harris, Director of Payroll  
Extension 3333

\---

The yearly BBQ is the following weekend and it’s always a big deal to the higher-ups. On the Saturday before Memorial Day, they hire a catering company and deck out the grassy area behind the building with a bunch of picnic tables and a few Port-O-Potties. It’s not exactly a classy affair but there’s free booze and enough food for a small nation, and usually some kind of stage with a band or two that play well into the night.

It’s always a little surreal to Jared to watch the CEO flip his burger and see a few of the VPs with wine stains on their shirt, giddy and red-faced. He goes every year for a combination of the people-watching and the foot long hotdogs.

This year, it starts off that way but as soon as he sees Jensen show up, he heads for the bar on the patio. “Just hand me a beer,” he says. “Whatever you got.”

The girl gives him a look and then opens a Coors Light for him.

“Thanks.” He watches Jensen walk towards the grill and he says, “Better make it two.” He’s going to need one for each hand tonight.

Jared’s sitting across from Chad a half an hour later, watching him get increasingly intoxicated. “I'm not taking you home tonight,” he informs him. “I’m staying here and eating as much free food as possible.”

Chad gives him an unconcerned shrug. “I’ll manage.”

And the bitch of it is, he probably will. Chad always finds a place to pass out when he's been drinking, whether it’s the drunk tank or a McDonald’s bathroom or one time, an airport runway. Part of Jared wonders how Chad’s even still alive but deep down, he has a feeling that Chad will never die. Twinkies, cockroaches, and Chad Michael Murray: the post-apocalyptic trifecta.

“So can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, okay,” Jared answers.

“Why are you sitting here talking to me when your mancrush is sitting right there by himself?” Chad nods his head towards the picnic table a few feet away where Jensen’s sitting with his back to the table, legs stretched out casually in front of him. Alone.

“I have no idea,” Jared says. “You are the best wingman ever.”

Chad rolls his eyes. “Don’t go acting like I’m all noble and shit. You’re blocking my view of Sophia and that piece of fabric she’s trying to pass off as a shirt.”

“Right,” he responds. “Good luck with that. I’m gonna go, uh. Over there.” He tries to untangle himself from the picnic table as he stands up but manages to topple backwards instead. Gravity works its magic on his beer bottle and half of it winds up on his shirt, the other half on the front of his jeans.

“Dammit,” Jared hisses as he slowly pulls himself up and brushes his pants off. He doesn’t look around, like maybe he can preserve some of his dignity that way. “I hate my life.”

He steals a sideways glace at Jensen and hopes that maybe, just this once, God is on his side and Jensen happened to be looking the other way.

But Jensen is staring right at him and Jared sighs. He walks over and tries to act casual.

“This seat taken?” he asks.

Jensen eyes him warily. “I don’t know. I feel like I should maintain a two foot radius from you, just for my own personal safety.”

“Ha ha,” Jared says, sitting next to him but being careful to keep some distance between them.

“You’re not exactly graceful, are you?”

“Blow me.”

Jensen raises an eyebrow. “Touchy touchy.”

Jared gives him a look. “If you spilled beer on your pants and looked like you pissed yourself, you’d be touchy, too.”

“Hey,” Jensen says, putting up a hand in defense. “Don’t blame me for you lack of motor skills.”

“I hate you,” Jared tells him.

He just laughs. “Liar.”

They sit in silence for a minute.

“I’m gonna get a beer,” Jensen says finally, standing up.

Jared tries to not feel disappointed at the blatant brush off until Jensen says, “Want me to get you one?”

He grins. “Uh, yeah, thanks.”

“Promise not to spill it?”

Jared ignores him.

“I’ll see if they have a Sippy cup, just in case.” He walks away, laughing, before Jared can form a retort.

He stares after Jensen and watches him wait in line at the bar, not even caring if he looks like a dreamy-eyed schoolgirl with her first crush. Jensen’s wearing jeans, which Jared’s pretty sure he's never seen him wear, even on casual Fridays. He’s got a plain blue t-shirt on which pretty much accentuates everything everywhere and Jared thinks to himself, This is the best day ever. He thinks that most days that he sees Jensen.

Jared’s jeans are starting to dry by the time Jensen comes back with their beer. He watches Jared poke at the inside of his thigh to gauge the dampness and he clears his throat, saying, “You want some alone time?”

“Shut up. I’m just trying to figure out how comfortable these are going to be when the beer dries and my pants are all stiff.”

Jensen grins and bites his lip, passing off a beer to Jared. “I’m not even going to touch that.”

“These are never going to dry,” he complains, ignoring him. He squirms, trying to adjust his pants, and Jensen looks away.

“You’re such a whiner.”

“They’re uncomfortable!” he says, and yeah, he definitely sounds like he’s whining. “I don’t want to wear wet jeans.”

Jensen looks back at him and smirks. “If you take your pants off, I’m out.” His eyes flash and for a second, Jared’s convinced that Jensen’s thinking about the same thing he is. Just for a second.

Jared subtly adjusts his pants again but for an entirely different reason.

“Afraid you won’t be able to restrain yourself?” he asks, leaning back and stretching his legs.

Jensen grins. “Something like that.”

“I know,” Jared says. “I’m kind of amazing.”

“Absolutely. You’re totally irresistible.”

Jared snorts. “That’s hilarious coming from you.”

Jensen laughs and then pauses. “Wait. What?”

“Oh, come on, Jensen,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Don’t even.”

“Don’t even what?” he asks, almost looking confused.

“Oh, please Jensen. I’ve been throwing myself at you for months now and you don’t even bat an eyelash.” Jared takes a pull from his beer and wonders distantly if maybe he should stop drinking.

But Jensen just shakes his head and laughs again. “You hit on everyone, Jared,” he says and he’s so infuriatingly flippant that Jared can’t figure out if he wants to punch him or shove him up against a wall and kiss him stupid.

“I do not,” he argues.

“Oh, please, Jared,” he parrots back to him teasingly. “I’ve heard about you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, sitting up straighter.

“The love ‘em and leave ‘em type. I know all about you.”

“I,” Jared starts. “I don’t even know what that means.” And he really doesn’t.

“Let’s just say I’ve heard some interesting stories about you these past couple weeks,” he tells him, still smiling like this whole thing is so fucking funny.

“Stories? People have been telling you stories about me?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Apparently you’ve gone through quite a few temps.”

“What?” he says, gaping a little. “Who told you that?”

“Calm down,” he laughs. “I’m not judging. I did the whole office relationship thing once. I know how it goes.”

“I don’t -- I’ve never --,” he sputters. “I've never dated anyone here!”

Jensen raises an eyebrow, unconvinced. “That’s not the way the Customer Service girls tell it.”

Jared looks over to the picnic table that Sophia and Katie are sitting at and glares. “I’m going to kill them. Strangle them with a phone cord, maybe.”

He shakes his head, amused. “They don’t mean anything by it, Jared. They’re just trying to play Cupid.”

Jared’s jaw drops. “They. What?”

“Yeah, they even got my friend Danneel in on it, I think. She’s been randomly talking about you. It’s kind of weird.”

“Danneel?” he says, and he cringes at how high-pitched his voice sounds.

Jensen shrugs and finishes off his beer. “She’s harmless. She’s always trying to set me up with someone.”

He wants to be embarrassed that his co-workers are trying to pimp him out to Jensen but really, he’s just kind of smug that Danneel’s helping him out after all.

“So wait, wait,” Jared interrupts. “None of this seemed strange to you?”

“No,” Jensen responds, confused. “Why?”

Jared blinks. “Jensen,” he says, like he’s speaking to a five year old. “Jensen.”

“What?” His eyebrows are drawn together and he looks lost. Jared’s heart almost breaks at his cluelessness.

“This company is trying to get you to date me. I’m trying to get you to date me,” he says, exasperated. “I like you and you think it’s all some joke.”

“You like everyone, Jared,” he argues. “So?”

Jared downs the rest of his beer, like it’s some kind of liquid patience. “I like you, Jensen,” he says slowly.

“Yeah, okay?”

“I like you.”

Jensen cocks his head and gives him a considering look. “You mean like …” he trails off.

“Yes,” he breathes out, frustrated.

“Oh.”

“This whole time,” Jared mutters to himself. “I've been thinking you were completely uninterested this whole time and really, you’re just. God, how are you this oblivious?”

Jensen just blinks at him with wide eyes.

“Don’t answer that,” he grumbles. “I’m getting us more beer.”

\---

It’s different when he gets back with two more beers for each of them. The mood’s shifted and the sun’s in the early stages of a sunset. Everything seems more mellow, more real.

Suddenly, there’s possibility and now, all of the things that Jared hasn’t let himself think, well. He starts thinking them. It’s kind of terrifying.

Jensen’s facing the stage, watching the band play. His feet are tucked under the bench, his hands folded on the top of the table.

“So,” Jared says, sitting next to him and setting the drinks down.

“So,” Jensen echoes. He stares at Jared, looking at him like he trying to figure out if this is all an elaborate setup.

And then Jared catches some heat in his eyes and he thinks that maybe Jensen’s looking just to, you know. Look.

Jared clears his throat. “So you’ve done the whole office dating thing, huh?”

“Yeah,” Jensen says. “I don’t recommend it.”

“Didn’t end well?”

Jensen snorts. “You could say that. You remember Justin?”

Jared thinks for a minute and then makes a face. “Not Hartley. Don’t say Justin Hartley.”

“Fraid so.”

“That dick in Marketing? You dated him?”

“Not one of my better judgment calls,” he admits.

“Understatement.”

Jensen laughs softly. “Yeah.”

Jared wrinkles his nose. “How long did that last?”

“About six months.”

“Ugh.” He pauses. “Is it true that he got caught screwing the CEO’s son at the Christmas party?”

Jensen laughs again. “Yeah.”

“That sucks,” he says. “So why’d you guys break up?”

He looks at Jared and smirks. “I caught him screwing the CEO’s son at the Christmas party.”

Jared almost spits out his beer. “What?”

Jensen shrugs. “It’s kind of a funny story now.”

“It’s really not,” Jared says, disgusted. “He was so dating up.”

“Dating up?”

“Oh, come on, Jensen. You’re way more attractive. He was clearly dating up.” He shifts a little closer so that their thighs are almost touching. “It’s never okay to cheat when you’re dating up.”

“Huh. But it’s okay the rest of the time?” he asks dryly.

Jared shrugs. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never done it.”

He gives Jared a lopsided grin. “You’re saying you never broke the hearts of those poor little interns? I find that hard to believe.”

“It’s true,” he says, frowning. “They were just lame little flings. They didn’t mean anything.”

Jensen looks away and doesn’t say anything for a minute. “And this?” he asks eventually.

He doesn’t bother to ask what Jensen means.

“This,” Jared says softly. “I don’t know. This might mean something.”

He doesn’t look at Jared, just picks at the label on his beer bottle.

It starts to get darker outside and a few strings of hanging lights flicker on around them. They’re basically alone at the picnic tables, mostly everyone sitting on the grass in front of the stage or milling around what’s left of the food.

It’s weird, Jared thinks, but the closer it gets to the end of the day, the more it feels like something’s beginning. He can feel the alcohol start to take hold, blurring the lines of what he should and shouldn’t say, what’s okay to admit and what’s not.

“You look good like this,” he says quietly. “All easy and relaxed.”

Jensen looks over and he smiles. “You make it sound like I’m usually all neurotic and uptight.”

“No,” Jared says, returning his grin. “But the t-shirt and jeans, it’s a good look.”

They stare at each other and Jared thinks, This is the best day ever.

Another hour rolls by and Jared can’t even count how many empty beer bottles sit in front of them on the table.

“Another beer?” he asks, leaning in close and pressed up against Jensen.

Jensen gives him an amused look and doesn’t answer.

“C’mon,” Jared prods. “I need to get you liquored up so you’ll put out.”

“I’d rather be conscious for it, if that’s okay with you,” he responds, his voice throaty.

Jared swallows. “That’s okay with me, yeah.”

He starts to realize that’s he’s creeping dangerously close to becoming one of those people everyone gossips about the next day. He’s about ten seconds and six inches away from tackling Jensen to the ground and pretty much having his way with him. It’s going to happen, in front of God, in front of their CEO, in front of the goddamn catering people, and Jared just doesn’t care. He’s become a cliché.

“You’re, fuck. You’re so fucking attractive, Jen.”

Even under the dim lighting, he can see Jensen start to flush. He looks away.

“I’m not trying to embarrass you, man, I’m sorry. It’s just.” He pushes some hair out of his face and wishes he could be more articulate, wishes he could put this thing between them, whatever it is, into words. “I don’t know, you just make me feel things.”

Jensen’s eyes dart up to his then and he gives him a smarmy grin. “Oh yeah? What kind of things?”

He rolls his eyes. “Not like that, you pervert,” he says, and then reconsiders. “Well, yeah okay, that, too.”

He swallows. “But it’s more than that,” he continues. “You make me want to come to work in the morning. You’re funny and you’re smart and you just. I don’t know, this is all sort of new to me.”

“You’re drunk,” Jensen tells him.

“Doesn’t change anything,” he argues. “I like you. I want you to like me.”

“I do like you,” he says softly.

Jared rolls his eyes. “You barely took me seriously until today.”

“I like you,” he says again. “I just never paid much thought to it. Didn’t think you really went for my type, I guess.”

At Jared’s confused look he clarifies, “You know, the neurotic, uptight type.” He smiles shyly.

“I don’t think I even had a type til I met you,” Jared says, leaning even closer still. “I think my type is pretty much just you.” He’s practically in Jensen’s lap and yeah, he’s definitely drunk.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Jared tells him. “I thought you should know.”

Jensen gives a faint nod and says something Jared can’t quite make out. He leans in, trying to be somewhat smooth --

And then someone drops down onto the bench across from them with a loud sigh. They both look up, startled, and see Danneel looking back at them. Jared briefly considers homicide, workplace violence policies be damned.

“Jensen!” she singsongs. “Come sit with us!” Her hair is completely disheveled and her eyes are glassy. She’s clearly drunk but she’s still being a cockblock, which Jared finds totally unforgivable right now.

Jensen stares at her in disbelief.

“You’re missing this band and they are awesome. You’ve been sitting here all night and you nee --”

“Go away,” Jensen growls at her, and it goes straight to Jared’s dick.

She laughs and ignores him. “Come on,” she tries again. “Misha and I --”

“I’m serious,” he says, his voice still deep. “Turn around and go.”

“Okay, okay,” she says. They don’t watch her go.

“Misha,” Jared says irritably when he looks back at Jensen. “Everyone’s in love with that guy.”

“Not everyone,” Jensen tells him meaningfully.

They stare at each other for a few minutes until Jensen breaks the silence.

“I need to get something out of my office,” he says, voice hoarse. He unconsciously bites his lower lip and Jared tracks the movement, staring at his mouth.

“Okay,” he breathes. He’s drunk and insanely turned on and it takes him almost two minutes to even realize Jensen’s gone.

Jared waits another two minutes and then heads to the side entrance of the building, focusing more on walking in a straight line than being discreet. He doesn’t even care who sees him following Jensen in because he knows that whatever’s about to happen is so fucking worth it.

\---

He doesn’t even make it to Jensen’s office. As soon as he hits the stairwell at the end of the hallway, he’s shoved up against the wall and Jensen’s tongue is in his mouth.

“Jesus,” he says, already breathless. “Impatient much?”

“Have you seen you?” Jensen asks.

Jared tries to push them towards the stairs but Jensen’s hands are in his hair and it’s kind of hard to think straight. “C’mon, Jen,” he says, throaty. “Not here.”

“Why are you still talking?” he asks, pressing his mouth to Jared’s again. “You should stop talking.”

Jared tries to maneuver them down the stairs but they’re still grabbing at each other like they’re holding on for dear life.

“Do you know how hard I worked for this?” Jared whispers, practically panting into Jensen’s mouth. “Nobody gets a free show. I earned this.”

“And you’re still talking,” he says, voice low, as they stumble down the last few steps. “I don’t understand.”

“Shut up,” he breathes. “C’mere.”

He grabs a fistful of Jensen’s shirt and pulls him in as he walks backwards into the darkened meeting room right outside the hallway.

“C’mere,” he says again, like he thinks Jensen’s actually going somewhere. He kicks the door closed behind them.

“I’m right here,” Jensen whispers, and then Jared forces him up against the door.

They grasp at each other, Jensen’s hands everywhere until Jared can’t even focus. He pulls away and presses his forehead against Jensen’s.

“God, this is so classy,” he tells him quietly, trying to slow his breathing down. “Fooling around at a holiday party.”

“I'm not your secretary. It’s okay,” Jensen says, and then pulls him in for another kiss.

Jared fumbles around for Jensen’s zipper in the dark but then his hand is down Jared’s pants and he pretty much passes out on the spot.

\---

They’re sitting on the floor with their backs to the wall ten minutes later, pants undone and still gasping for air. If Jared’s head was on a little straighter and he had the capability for coherent thought, he’d probably be pretty humiliated at how quickly it was all over but he can’t bring himself to care. He figures it’ll last longer the next time and judging by the way Jensen’s watching him, there’s definitely going to be a next time.

“Come back to my place,” Jared whispers.

Jensen just looks at him, eyes still glassy. “That depends,” he says. “Do you live with Chad?”

Jared huffs out a laugh. “No. Just … no.”

He gives Jared a slow smile and nods.

They sit there in the dark, stealing glances at each other and for the billionth time since Jensen got a computer virus, Jared thinks, This is the best fucking day ever.

*

** _Five: Keep It Quiet and Take It Slow_ **

They drive to work together on Tuesday from Jensen’s house. Jared had grabbed some clothes from his place when they left his apartment on Sunday afternoon and then they stopped to pick up a pizza. After that, they pretty much didn’t leave Jensen’s bedroom until Tuesday morning when they climbed into the shower. Together.

Jared loves three-day holiday weekends. His life is totally awesome.

“See, look at this. We’re carpooling,” Jared tells him as they climb into Jensen’s Prius. “Our relationship is good for the environment.”

Jensen ignores him. “Does this mean you’re gonna stop hanging out in my office? Maybe let me get some work done?”

He snorts. “You’re delusional. This means I’m going to be in there all the time, staring at you and making lewd comments.”

“You do that now,” he points out as they pull out of his driveway.

“True,” he agrees. “But it’s not considered sexual harassment anymore.”

Jensen tries not to smile; he just drinks his coffee and listens to Jared talk about some training seminar he has to sit through today.

When he pulls on to the highway, Jensen passes his coffee tumbler back to him instead of using his cup holder. Jared's not sure what it means but it feels like he’s cutting out a spot in Jensen’s life, like he belongs somewhere, like he’s needed. They’ve been maybe-dating for about thirty-six hours and it’s the most comfortable Jared’s ever felt in his own skin. It feels natural and it feels real.

\---

He spends almost the entirety of his morning in the training seminar to learn the new computer program for Customer Service and the Warranty department. They take a break a couple hours in for some bagels and Jared steals an extra one to bring down to Jensen later. He feels like it’s suddenly his responsibility to make sure the guy actually eats.

He zones out for the second half of the training, even though he knows he’s going to need to know this program. It seems simple and self-explanatory but he knows for a fact that at least a couple of the Customer Service reps will manage to break it somehow. He tries to focus but all he can think about is the bagel sitting in his lap, gingerly wrapped in a napkin. He hopes Jensen likes multi-grain.

\---

After the seminar, Jared’s boss comes to visit him in his corner cubicle, leaning over the wall with his arm resting on the divider.

“So you feelin’ comfortable with this program? It’s gonna be installed on every computer upstairs in Customer Service.”

“Yeah,” Jared says, shrugging. “Seems simple enough.”

“Good,” Jeff nods. “I need you to set everyone up with a user ID and password, run down the system features. They’re all aware of it but they’ll probably have a few questions here and there.”

“Sure.” Jared knows that a few questions is a huge understatement. A lot of those girls seem relatively helpless with technology and sometimes, Jared wonders how they even manage to operate a fax machine.

“Good, good. It’ll probably take you the rest of the day at least but take your time. The more time we spend rolling this out to the reps, the less time we’ll have to spend with trouble-shooting down the line.”

Jared nods some more. “Got it, boss.”

He nods and Jared can tell that the conversation is over but Jeff doesn’t budge. Jared looks around awkwardly and clears his throat.

“I’ll uh, go get started then,” he says and waits for Jeff to respond.

He just stares at Jared thoughtfully and Jared shifts uncomfortably.

“So, you and the engineer?” Jeff asks finally.

Jared’s eyes widen. “What?”

“You’re dipping, I hear.”

Jared grimaces. “I don’t know what that means,” he says, “but it sounds gross.”

“In the company ink,” Jeff clarifies.

“Oh,” Jared responds. “Okay.” He’s half prepared for Jeff to break out the ‘birds and the bees’ speech.

“I have to say, I didn’t expect that.”

“Oh?” Jared says, trying to be as non-committal as possible. It’s not like he’s got Jensen’s okay to talk about their potential love life with everyone at corporate.

Jeff’s still looking at him with some sort of appraising gaze and Jared starts to play with some paperclips on his desk to keep his hands busy.

“He’s pretty different from you,” Jeff tells him. “He ain’t much of a talker.”

“He talks to me,” Jared says, shrugging.

“Huh,” he responds. “Guess you must be somethin’ special then.”

He keeps his eyes on his paperclips and says, “Yeah, guess so.” Jared’s never really thought of it that way but yeah, it’s a good feeling. Jared’s special and important and maybe means something to Jensen and it’s just an all around good feeling.

“Keep your head down, though, kid. This place is a gossip mill.”

“Yeah, okay,” Jared says, feeling his cheeks start to color. He pauses and then, “How did you even hear about it?”

Jeff shrugs. “I got my ways. I make it a habit to know all about my employees.”

“Oh,” Jared says. “That’s kind of … weird.”

Jeff lets out a small laugh. “Get started upstairs, son. You got a lot to do today.”

After he leaves, Jared sighs dejectedly and looks at the bagel.

\---

Jared decides to start with the Warranty department. It’s its own isolated department and he has to take two flights of stairs and follow three hallways to get there. There are only two girls that work up there and he’s heard that they’re pretty anti-social so Jared figures they’ll be a good place to begin.

The steps dump him into a dingy room at the very edge of the corporate office building. There's a brunette sitting on the floor in the corner when he gets there, surrounded by mounds of paperwork. The stacks of paper are piled up around her and she looks like she might even need a hand climbing out from behind them when she’s done.

“Hey,” he says tentatively, trying not to startle her.

It doesn’t work. “Jesus Christ!” she says.

“Sorry,” he says apologetically.

She stares at him. “Do you need something? I’m busy.”

“Oh, uh, right. I’m Jared from I.T.”

She looks at him blankly. “Yeah, we’ve met. Your friend hit my car in the parking lot two years ago.”

Jared blinks. “Oh. Sorry about that …” he trails off.

“Genevieve,” she fills in for him.

“Right, right.”

She rolls her eyes and goes back to the piles of paperwork. She’s digging for something and Jared feels bad for her because it seems like a shitty way to spend a day.

“I’m here to install the new order entry database program on your PC,” he tells her.

She doesn’t say anything, just waves her hand towards her desk in what Jared assumes is a gesture of permission.

He sits at her desk, depressingly bare of any kind of personal touch. While he waits for the computer to restart, he looks around the room and sees that it’s just as depressing as her desk. It’s a pretty large room and there’s not much in it aside from Genevieve’s desk, one file cabinet, and what seems like hundreds of stacks of papers, some small and some knee-high. There's a motivational poster hanging on the otherwise empty wall, DESTINY spelled out in bright blue letters under a picture of a pier and a bright blue ocean. It’s curling at the edges and it’s possibly the most depressing element of the room. Jared can’t look away.

After fifteen minutes of almost complete silence, Jared starts to get fidgety.

“So,” he says.

Genevieve doesn’t reply, moving on to another stack of yellowing papers next to her.

“How come I never see you out?”

She glances up at him and gives him a quick, irritated look. “What?”

“We all go out every week and I’ve never seen you there,” he says.

She shrugs. “I don’t go out much.”

“Yeah, I got that,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Why?”

She sighs. “I hate my job, Jared. I spend all day listening to homeowners yell and blame me for everything from cracked vinyl and faded paint to the value of the Canadian dollar and the emotional stability of Brad and Angelina.”

He stares at her.

“The last thing I want to do is hang out with people that work for the very company that makes me so miserable.”

“Wow,” he says. “You’re giving us a lot of credit.”

“What?” she asks irritably.

“Well, it’s not like you’re gonna come out with us and we’re going to yell at you about faded paint. Most likely, we’re just gonna try to get you to take a few shots.”

Her face softens a little. “Whatever.”

He goes back to her computer and they go back to silence. He starts to run the program and then resumes looking around the room. He sees a doorway that leads to another office, which looks about the same size and wonders who sits in there.

“Is it just you two up here?” he asks her, gesturing to the other office.

“Just Alona and I,” she says, not looking up. “We don’t get many visitors up this way.”

“Huh,” he comments. “I’ll make sure I stop up every once in a while then.”

“I wasn’t complaining,” she says. “I like the quiet.”

“Huh,” he says again. “You’re not so good with the interpersonal skills, are you?”

She shrugs and doesn’t look embarrassed. “It’s not really a job requirement.”

He doesn’t really know how to argue with that so he just finishes up with her install and stands up.

He stares at her poster some more. “That’s a really depressing poster,” he tells her.

“’Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice’,” she recites, still not looking up. “It’s been here forever. I hate that thing.”

“Why?”

“It’s depressing. It reminds me that I’m choosing to be here, everyday.”

Jared gives her a confused look. “Then why don’t you replace it?”

“I don’t know,” she admits. “I guess I just don’t care enough.”

“Oh,” he says awkwardly. “Well, Thursdays.”

She looks up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“You know, if you ever want to join us,” he continues.

“I’ll think about it,” she tells him but Jared decides not to hold his breath.

He heads to the connecting room and sees a petite blonde hunched over her keyboard, a radio playing classical music softly in the background.

He clears his throat but she doesn’t look up. “Uh,” he starts.

“Just put it over there,” she says, waving her hand towards the door.

“Put what where?” he asks.

She glances up then and gives him a blank stare.

“I’m just here to install the new program on your computer,” he tries weakly.

“But I’m busy,” she says.

He blinks. “Should I come back later?”

“I’ll probably be busy then, too.”

“Okay,” he says slowly. “Is there a door number three?”

Jared smiles at her but Alona’s expression never changes.

“Can you make it quick?”

“I’ll try,” he says. “But you could probably use the break. Enjoy it.”

“I don’t have time for a break,” she informs him sternly. “I have things to do. They’re important.”

“It’s vinyl siding,” he says skeptically. “How important could it be?”

She brushes her hair behind her shoulder and stands up to head towards the other office. “Just let me know when you’re finished.”

He stares after her but decides to make quick work of her computer. The Warranty girls have deep-seeded issues.

When he’s done, he heads back out to the main room where Alona has joined Genevieve on the floor. He pauses, unsure, and looks between the two of them. “I really think you guys should join us next Thursday. You,” he says, pointing to Genevieve, “need to brush up on your people skills and you,” he says to Alona, “need to get out more.”

They both stare at him.

“There’ll be other people there besides me, if that’s what you’re worried about. I promise I’m not going to hit on you or whatever,” he adds.

“I’m not worried about you hitting on me,” Genevieve says, rolling her eyes. “I know you have a boyfriend.”

His jaw drops. “I have a what?” Jared chokes out.

“Jensen,” Alona explains, like she thinks Jared’s slow.

“Yeah, I got that, thanks,” he responds. “But what the hell are you talking about?”

“Jensen,” Alona repeats, slower this time.

“Yeah, thanks,” he says, just as slowly. “How do you know about Jensen?”

“Everyone knows about Jensen,” Genevieve answers.

Jared narrows his eyes in confusion. “You two are like hermits up here. You have little to no interaction with the rest of this company but you’re still managing to follow my love life?”

“At least we didn’t take part in the betting pool,” she says disinterestedly as Alona stands up.

“There was a betting pool?” he asks, horrified.

She nods. “We were copied on some of the emails. I don’t know all of the details, sorry.”

“I -- God, I hope Jensen doesn’t know about this.”

Alona returns to her office and Genevieve dives back into the paperwork towers while Jared fidgets self-consciously in the middle of the room. He doesn’t say anything else as he leaves and makes his way back towards the main part of the building.

He prepares himself for a long day.

\---

Jared finally has a chance to bring Jensen’s stolen bagel to him a little before lunch. It’s a little stale already but Jared hopes it’s the thought that counts.

His stomach is all fluttery and unsettled as he knocks on Jensen's door, which makes no sense because he really doesn’t have that will he, won’t he debate going on in his head anymore. The jumpiness is there anyway, though, and he does his best to ignore it.

“Hey there, hot stuff,” he says loudly when he walks into the room and Jensen’s eyes get wide.

“Jared!” he says quietly, shushing him. “Keep it down.”

“Hey there, hot stuff,” he whispers, taking his usual seat in the red leather chair.

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you just send out an interoffice memo?” he asks. “You can let everyone at corporate know we’re sleeping together in one fell swoop.”

“Sleeping together?” he asks, eyebrow arched.

Jensen looks away and shrugs. “You know what I mean.”

“Nah, I really don’t,” Jared says, keeping his tone playful. He tries to act casual and not like he really, really wants to know what he means.

“You know. Whatever,” Jensen says, evasively. He goes back the email he was typing.

“Are we dating?” Jared asks, teasing. “Going steady?”

Jensen sighs and ignores him.

“Can I wear your letter jacket?”

Jensen shoots him a sideways glance. “I want to punch you right now.”

“No, you don’t,” he grins. “You want to take me back to your house, rip my clo --”

“Jared!” Jensen hisses. “Stop it.” He’s trying not to smile, though, which really isn’t much of a deterrent to Jared.

“Okay, okay.”

Jensen’s quiet for a minute and then he softly says, “Yes.”

“Yes? To the letter jacket?”

Jensen bites his lip and doesn’t look at Jared. “To all of the above.”

Jared beams. He thinks he’s officially in a relationship with the hottest guy he’s ever seen and he doesn’t even care if there are betting pools or water cooler stories or uncomfortable conversations.

He remembers the bagel right then and holds it out to Jensen. “I stole this for you this morning.”

“How romantic,” he replies dryly.

“Take it,” Jared tells him. “You need to eat.”

Jensen turns to look at him, amused. “You know you don’t have to use your lunch as an excuse to come see me anymore, right? I’m kind of a guaranteed thing now.”

Jared smiles and sets the bagel on top of a few of papers. “This is called nagging, Jen. It’s one of the perks and prerogatives of significant others across the country.”

Jensen shakes his head and turns back to his computer. “This is called the silent treatment,” he retorts. “Another one of those perks and prerogatives.”

He laughs at that and leans back in the chair. It’s a comfortable chair, something he never noticed before. Just like everything else with Jensen, it fits.

“So how’s your day, honey?” he asks, his voice still teasing.

“Don’t call me that. And keep it down. We don’t need the whole company knowing our business.”

Jared thinks of Jeff, of the Warranty recluses, of the alleged betting pool. “Yeah, about that,” he starts.

“About what?” Jensen asks, sounding almost apprehensive. He looks like a deer in headlights.

Jared changes his mind. “Uh, just wondering what we were telling people, is all.”

Jensen lets out a small sigh of relief. “We should probably keep it quiet, Jared. Take it a little slow.”

“That’s boring!” he argues.

“This building is probably ninety percent female. They’re bored and gossipy and always looking for a soap opera.” He looks at Jared pointedly. “I don’t want to be soap opera.”

Jared shrugs and doesn’t respond. “Let’s get dinner,” he says instead.

They stare at each other from across Jensen’s messy desk. “We spent the entire weekend together,” Jensen says tentatively. “That’s probably not taking it slow.”

“I don’t want to take it slow,” Jared says quietly, pushing his chair a little closer and leaning over the desk. “I’m done taking it slow.”

“Jared …” he says.

“You already said I could wear your letter jacket,” he says earnestly. “You can’t take it back now.”

He lets out a resigned sigh. “So what do you have in mind?”

“Chinese, maybe,” Jared grins, feeling victorious. “Or Mexican.”

Jensen smiles and it kicks up Jared's grin even more. He stands up reluctantly and hovers in the doorway for a minute.

“Eat your bagel,” he demands on his way out. “And I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“You look really hot today,” Jared adds mischievously, not really trying to keep his voice down.

He hears the bagel ricochet off the door as he walks down the hall.

\---

The next few hours in Customer Service are not entirely pleasant. He can barely focus on installing the program between all of the staring and whispers behind his back and when he gets to the room with Katie, Sophia, and Sandy, it snowballs out of control.

He’s just finished with Sandy’s computer and starting on Katie’s when the girls get into a lengthy debate on whether it’s Jared or Jensen walking funny this morning. They’re all annoyed when he won’t weigh in on the subject.

“Spill,” Sophia tells him, somewhat impatiently. “You’ve never held back on the details before.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he responds, pretending to be intensely fascinated with Katie’s desk calendar. There’s a few scribbles and bored doodles and three different coffee rings. Jared stares at them intently.

“You’re boring,” Katie informs him. She’s leaning against the wall while Jared sits in her chair and she looks irritated. “Give us something here, Jared.”

He shrugs. “Don’t know what you mean.”

They all sigh in unison and start talking at once.

“Was he, you know, proportionate?”

“Were there candles and flowers and everything?”

“Are you getting gay married now?”

Jared tightens his grip on the mouse and tries to ignore them all. He hears his phone ring and glances down at the display. He's never been so relieved to see Gabe’s number in his life.

“Thank God,” he exhales into the phone. “Thank God it’s you.”

Gabe is silent.

“Gabe?”

“Yeah,” he says clearing his throat and sounding awkward. “Look, they’re trying to run a presentation in the meeting room by Engineering but they can’t establish a connection between their laptop and the projector. Can you check it out?”

“Yes,” Jared answers immediately, already making his way to the door. “I’ll sprint down there right now.”

“That’s probably not necessary,” Gabe says. “It’s not that far.”

Jared ends the call and gives the girls an insincere apologetic look. “Sorry, ladies. Looks like this will have to wait until later.”

“You can’t run away forever,” Katie says. “Eventually you’ll have to tell us everything. We have ways of making you talk.”

Jared ignores her and heads down the hall, knowing that she’s probably right.

\---

There’s six people standing against the far wall when Jared gets to the meeting room, and they all watch him.

“Cable trouble?” he asks no one in particular.

“Can’t get it to hook up right,” one of the old guys tells him. “Keeps telling us that there’s no signal.”

He turns slightly and sees Jensen sitting at the far end of the table, staring at him with an unreadable look on his face. He walks to the projector slowly.

He unhooks some cables as he stands next to Jensen. They don’t look at each other and Jared wonders if they’re going to be those people that awkwardly don’t acknowledge each other in public.

“I need to talk to you later,” Jensen says under his breath, looking down at his empty pad of paper.

Jared glances around casually and sees that everyone else is still standing by the other wall, not paying either of them much attention. “What about?” he asks.

“About the Vice President of Product Development winking at me in the hallway and congratulating me on my boy toy,” he hisses.

“Your boy toy?” Jared whispers. “I’m only a few years younger than you!”

Jensen sighs and Jared reconnects a few cords. “That’s not really the issue here,” he says.

“I disagree,” Jared argues. “It’s kind of insulting.”

“Jared.”

“What?”

“Jared,” he says again and he can tell that Jensen’s struggling to keep his voice down. “Why is the VP of Product Development winking at me and congratulating me on my boy toy?”

Jared shrugs and reboots the laptop. “No clue,” he answers, not making any eye contact.

“You are the worst liar ever,” Jensen whispers. “We need to work on our communication.”

“We can work on it over Mexican,” Jared tries, looking up quickly to make sure their hushed conversation is still going on unnoticed.

“Like when I said, We should keep it quiet,” Jensen continues, “What I meant was that we should keep it quiet. I guess I can see how that would be confusing.”

“But I’m also game for Italian, if that’s what you’re in the mood for,” Jared says, ignoring him and untangling a few cables.

“And when I said, We need to work on our communication, it didn’t mean an ethnic restaurant and then sex at your apartment.”

Jared plugs in the final cord and turns to look at Jensen, abandoning all pretense of subtlety. “But why? That plan sounds so much better.”

He turns around to make sure that the presentation is now successfully being transmitted to the screen behind him and then faces Jensen again. “Meet you back down here at five?”

Jensen stares at him blankly.

“Five thirty?” Jared offers.

Jensen blinks.

“Five thirty,” Jared repeats, patting him on the shoulder as he walks by. “Wear something pretty.”

When he reaches the door, he turns to get one last look at Jensen, something to get him through the next few torturous hours in Customer Service. He finds Jensen staring back at him, mouth tilting up into an almost-smile. He looks like he’s a little stunned, like he doesn’t know what just happened.

One glimpse at it and Jared's already hooked to that look on Jensen’s face, can’t think of anything else but putting it back on there. He wants to keep finding things that Jensen can’t say no to.

He gives Jensen a shy smile and doesn’t even care who sees him do it. When Jensen returns it in full force, right in front of everyone, Jared lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

*

** _Six: Don't Document Anything_ **

They’re in Jensen’s living room when he tells Jared about his trip to Anaheim. Jensen’s sitting on the recliner portion of the sectional and Jared’s got his head on Jensen’s lap, trying to keep as much of his body on the tiny sofa as he can.

“You need a new couch,” he tells him, folding himself up like a pretzel. “This one is too small.”

“Maybe there’s nothing wrong with my couch,” Jensen shoots back, “and you’re just too tall.”

“There’s no such thing as too tall. It’s like saying too happy or too rich. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“You ever heard the expression too much of a good thing, Jared?” he asks, eyebrow raised.

“Yeah,” he answers, attempting to shrug. “I don’t buy into it.”

Jensen laughs. “How can you not buy into it?”

Because I’ve spent the past three weeks attached to your hip, Jared thinks, and it’s not too much. Not even close.

He doesn’t answer, though. “Let’s go furniture shopping,” Jared says instead.

Jensen doesn’t seem too surprised by the random change of conversation; Jared figures he's pretty used to it by now.

“Hm,” he responds, non-committal.

“I’m serious,” Jared pushes, shifting his head to look up at Jensen. “It’ll be fun.”

“That’s what you said about kitchen appliances last weekend. And about linens the weekend before that.”

“So? They were good ideas.”

“Not really,” Jensen argues, smiling to himself. “I don’t need any more kitchen appliances.”

“Okay, so we’ll go shopping for me,” Jared compromises.

“You’ve already got two blenders, Jared,” he says. “You don’t need any more kitchen appliances either.”

After awhile, Jared says, “I’ll give you a reprieve this time but next weekend, we’re going furniture shopping. I wanna buy an ottoman.”

He shakes his head and smiles. “I’ll be in Anaheim next weekend,” he tells him. “Guess you’ll have to go without me.”

“You’re going to Anaheim?” he asks.

“Hm,” Jensen says by way of an answer. He’s watching a baseball game and distractedly playing with the hair at the nape of Jared’s neck. He can tell Jensen’s only half paying attention to the conversation.

“Oh,” he says simply. “Why are you going to Anaheim?”

Jensen cocks his head at something on the TV screen but Jared doesn’t follow his gaze, just waits. “We’re opening a new manufacturing plant in Minneapolis,” he informs him.

“Yeah, I heard.”

“It’s pretty high-tech. You know, new machinery, updated systems, whole nine yards.” His hand stills on Jared’s neck but he doesn’t move it away. “I have to go out and train some of the guys at the Anaheim plant, the ones that’ll be transferring to Minny.”

“Oh,” Jared says again. “Why you?”

Jensen looks down at him, amused. “Because I helped design the machines.”

Jared raises his eyebrows. He knew Jensen was smart but he didn’t think he was an engineer that like, engineered stuff.

“That’s. Wow, that’s hot.”

Jensen smirks and ignores him. “I have to spend the next few days preparing the training manuals for management and the line leads. In between that, I’m going to be in and out of video conference meetings all week.”

Jared looks back to the TV. “Is that subtle code for, I’ll be busy so don’t bother me?”

“Nah,” he answers quietly, and his fingers start tickling the back of Jared’s neck again. “I’m hinting, not so subtly, that I wouldn’t mind you being here when my day’s over.”

“Oh,” Jared grins.

\---

Later, when they’re sitting at Jensen’s kitchen table and eating some take-out, Jared looks across at him and grins mischievously.

“You probably need an I.T. guy there out with you in Anaheim, you know,” he says.

Jensen looks up from his Lo Mein. “Oh yeah?”

“Definitely,” he says. “What happens if you can’t get your presentation to pull up? What if your laptop freezes?”

“Yeah, I’d be helpless without you,” Jensen says dryly. “Definitely.”

“I’m serious,” Jared presses on. “I’m telling Jeff on Monday that he probably needs his best guy out there.”

“Hm,” Jensen answers, attention back on his food. “Before you do, you might want to work out an argument for when he asks why I didn’t need an I.T. chaperone the past seven times I’ve flown out there.”

Jared blinks. “Now you’re just trying to ruin all my fun.”

Jensen looks back at him, suddenly serious and maybe a little hesitant. “I fly out to Chicago for a seminar in the middle of next month.”

“Let me guess,” Jared says sarcastically. “You don’t need an I.T. chaperone there, either.”

“Not a chaperone, no,” he says. He waits.

“Meaning?” he asks, confused.

“The meetings go from Tuesday through Thursday. I could probably stay out there an extra day and just fly back that weekend. You know, if you wanted to fly out or whatever.” He looks away and pokes at his noodles.

“You’d want me to come out there with you?” Jared asks finally.

He shrugs. “Not as my I.T. guy,” he says. “But yeah, as my … whatever.”

Jared grins. “I could do that, yeah. I’d have to get the time off.”

“You don’t have to,” Jensen says, already backing down. “It’s a stupid idea.”

“It’s really not,” Jared disagrees. “I could find stuff to do in the city while you’re off doing, you know, whatever it is that engineers do at seminars in Chicago and then we could hang out on the weekend.”

Jensen gives a slight nod of agreement.

“I haven’t taken a day off in almost two years,” Jared tells him. “This is going to be awesome.”

He watches Jensen take another bite of his Chinese to try and hide his grin.

\---

Jared stays at his own apartment the night before Jensen leaves for the airport. He’s being picked up early by another one of the engineers so Jared says goodbye over the phone the night before.

“I’m going to be incredibly bored without you,” he tells him. “I hope you’re happy.”

Jensen pauses. “The training was all a ruse. The real reason I’m flying out is to make you miserable.”

“I knew it,” Jared says, staring up at his ceiling.

They’re quiet for awhile. He can hear Jensen’s steady breathing and for the first time, it’s not a relaxing sound to Jared. He already feels the distance.

“I’ll miss you,” he says quietly, and he feels pretty ridiculous about it.

And then Jensen says, “Me too,” just as quietly and Jared doesn’t feel ridiculous about it at all.

\---

Jared wasn’t exaggerating; he really is incredibly bored while Jensen’s gone.

He calls Jensen the first night and pretends to talk dirty to him.

“I’m not having phone sex with you,” Jensen says, exasperated.

“Why?” he asks, and he tries to sound insulted.

“This is a company phone, jackass. They could be recording us right now.”

Jared laughs. “They’re not recording us. I think they have better things to do.”

“You’re on a company phone, too,” Jensen points out. “You should be just as afraid.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not.”

“I know,” Jensen sighs. “That’s the problem.”

\---

He spends the most of his time sulking in Customer Service.

“You’re pathetic,” Sophia tells him disdainfully as Jared leans up against her desk. “It’s only four days.”

He shrugs.

“You’re all kinds of whipped,” Katie chimes in. “It’s kind of amusing, really.”

“It’s sweet,” Sandy tells them and she gives Jared a sympathetic look. “Absence makes the heart go fonder.”

He looks at her crossly. “I don’t need to be fonder. I was fine with my level of fond before.”

She shrugs and Katie says, “Are you coming out tonight for Thirsty Thursday? You missed last week.”

“I don’t know,” he answers. “I guess.”

“Come on, it’ll cheer you up,” she explains. “We’ll all get you good and drunk.”

He can’t think of a good reason to say no, nothing outside of, I just want to stay at home and mope, so he agrees.

Jared spends the majority of the evening sitting at the bar next to Tom. They don’t talk. Jared’s on his third beer and second Jaeger Bomb when Danneel leans over the stool on the other side of him and rests her forearms on the bar countertop. He hears her order him another shot and she says, “On me,” giving him a look. “You look like you could use it.”

He shrugs.

“You and Jensen are something else,” she says, giving him a weird stare. “You really like him.”

“Yeah,” he says, like she’s an idiot.

“That’s good,” she nods. “Because I know how to accidentally lose your paycheck.”

“That’s … disturbing,” he responds.

She doesn’t seem to care and Jared’s struck by the number of people he works with that are okay with all kinds of unethical behavior in the workplace. Then he remembers that he briefly considered cyber stalking Jensen, so.

Danneel passes him his shot and they clink glasses. It’s fruity and sweet but he can taste the alcohol so he doesn’t really care. Plus, it’s free, he remembers belatedly.

“You’re welcome,” she says.

His throat is still burning and he chokes out a, “Thanks,” but she’s already gone.

“Hello,” he hears instead.

Jared whips around to see Misha standing behind him. He’s smiling; Jared tenses.

“Hello,” Jared answers tersely.

“How are you?”

“Good.”

“Having a good time?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good,” Misha tells him. He looks so fucking sincere and Jared’s grip tightens on his beer bottle.

They stare at each other for a few moments.

“Jensen says hi,” Misha says.

Jared blinks.

“I just got off the phone with him and told him that you were here. He said to say hi,” Misha clarifies.

“Oh,” Jared says finally. “Thanks.” He’s waiting for Misha to leave so that he can whip out his cell phone to check if he has a missed call because if not, then. Yeah. That’ll suck.

“No problem, Jared. Enjoy your beer,” he says brightly.

Jared and Tom both watch him walk away.

“How are those mail bombs working out?” Jared asks, not really serious.

“Not well, I’m afraid,” Tom answers, entirely too serious.

“Huh,” he says. “Two more for me and my friend here,” Jared tells the girl behind the bar, watching Misha start up a conversation with Mike. “Two more for each of us.”

Chad takes away his cell phone two hours later. “No fucking way, dude,” he tells Jared as he wrestles it from his grip. “You’re not drunk dialing your boyfriend and leaving some pussy message about dandelions and glitter and moonbeams.”

“I wasn’t going to do that,” Jared argues but he can hear his words start to slur.

“I know,” Chad agrees. “Whatever you come up will be even fucking worse than that.”

Jared rolls his eyes but lets Chad take his phone anyway.

“You and your gay is already bad for my rep,” Jared hears Chad mutter. “I’m not letting you make me look worse.”

Jared wakes up on Chad’s couch at four a.m. to an obnoxious alarm clock that Chad set out for him. There’s a piece of paper on top of it: don’t be late to work, homo. your phone is in the microwave.

\---

Jensen flies back on Friday night and he calls Jared as soon as he lands. Jared shows up to his house ten minutes after Jensen’s dropped off and they don’t leave the house until Saturday night, when they sit in Jensen’s backyard and watch the fireworks for the Fourth of July. He sets a few lawn chairs up but Jared abandons his and settles on the grass in between Jensen’s legs. They pass a beer back and forth and watch the sky.

Jared realizes distantly that this is the second holiday that they’ve spent together.

\---

The first thing Jared does on Monday is to go request a few days off work for the following week.

“Really?” Jeff asks him. “But you never take vacation days.”

“Something came up. It was spur of the moment,” Jared responds.

Jeff looks at him for a minute. “Going anywhere exciting?”

“No, not really,” Jared says with a grin, refusing to elaborate.

Jeff makes an unconvinced noise and writes Jared’s name on the calendar hanging up behind his desk. “Have fun.”

“I plan on it,” Jared says.

\---

Jensen’s still suffering from some jet-lag so Jared visits him around lunchtime. He figures it’s his responsibility to make sure Jensen’s not falling asleep at his desk. He visits for purely selfless reasons, really.

“This was in your mailbox,” he tells Jensen when he takes his usual spot in the red leather chair, handing him an interoffice envelope and setting an Italian sub on the corner of his desk.

Jensen takes the envelope from him and eyes it suspiciously. “I don’t have a mailbox.”

Jared just grins and watches him open it up.

A piece of paper flutters out and Jensen inspects it briefly before giving Jared an incredulous look. “You photocopied your ass?”

Jared shrugs. “Now you have something of me in your office. You can hang it on your bulletin board.”

“That’s a good idea,” he responds. “And then we can both get fired.”

“We won’t get fired,” Jared laughs. “You can’t even tell those jeans are mine,” he says, pointing to the Xerox copy.

“Yeah,” he replies sarcastically. And then, “That reminds me. Stop sending me pervy emails.”

“What?” Jared gasps, mock offended. “I would never.”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “You’re gonna get us arrested for misuse of company property or something.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. They’re always full of very subtle innuendo. No one would be able to pick up on it.”

Jensen blinks. “The last one said something like, Meet me in the supply closet so I can have my way with you. ”

“See?” Jared grins, “It’s very subtle.”

“Also, we don’t even have a supply closet.”

He grins some more. “It’s innuendo.”

“Whatever.”

Jared points to the sandwich. “Eat that. I bought it for you from the vending machines.”

“From the Food Wheel?” he says, wrinkling his nose. “No.”

Jared’s phone vibrates and he reads an email telling him that someone broke the printer in Customer Service again. He sighs.

“Eat it,” he repeats, standing up. “You need your strength for later.”

He gives Jared a quizzical look. “For my meeting?”

“You need your strength for much later,” he amends. “For what I have planned after work.”

Jensen fights a smile. “Oh? What kind of plans?” he asks and it comes off seductive, even though Jensen’s not trying for it.

Jared pauses in Jensen’s doorway and gives him a dirty grin. “Good plans. I’ll email them. In detail.”

He won’t but it’s worth it to hear Jensen's frustrated groan.

\---

He runs into Chad in the hallway on his way upstairs to Customer Service.

“Hey, fucker,” Chad says casually and Jared looks around to see if anyone heard him. He wonders vaguely if this is how Jensen feels every time Jared says something wildly inappropriate.

“Keep it down, man,” Jared tells him. “You trying to get another warning in your file about profanity usage?”

“I don’t really give a fuck,” Chad answers honestly, and Jared can’t exactly argue with that logic.

They walk together and Jared feels Chad’s eyes on him.

“Trouble in gaytopia?” he asks.

“What?”

“You and Jensen,” Chad clarifies. “And your flaming little utopia.”

“Yeah, I got that part,” Jared says. “What are you talking about?”

He shrugs. “I saw him and that receptionist guy bullshitting in the parking lot earlier.”

Huh. “Okay, so?”

“Just wondering, man. You gotta keep that shit in line. Set some boundaries.”

“Talking to other people is within the boundaries, Chad,” Jared sighs. “The sooner you realize that, the sooner you could potentially have a healthy relationship.”

Which isn’t really true because there’s a hell of a lot of things Chad needs to do to have a healthy relationship, like completely changing his personality for starters, but Jared’s not going to tell him that.

“Whatever,” Chad says, unconcerned. “If my chick was spending time with another dude, I’d raise some hell.”

“He’s not my chick,” Jared starts to argue but then he remembers the trouble he always gets into when he takes anything that Chad says seriously. He lets it go.

Fifteen minutes later, though, it’s still in the back of his head.

“So, uh, what do you know about Jensen and Misha?” he asks Sophia casually while he clears out the job queue of their printer and looks for the error code.

“Not much,” she says. “Other than the fact that I think they used to date.”

“Bullshit,” Jared says immediately, stopping what he's doing to face her. “No, they didn’t.”

She shrugs. “That’s what I heard.”

“No way,” he tells her.

She shrugs again and picks up her phone to make a call.

“No way,” he repeats to himself.

He shakes his head to clear his thoughts and focuses on his trip to Chicago next week.

\---

He flies out Wednesday afternoon and takes a shuttle to the hotel they’re staying at while Jensen’s still in his meetings. He sits in the hotel bar for an hour until Jensen’s able to come meet him in the lobby.

“I’m sorry,” he says apologetically when he walks up to Jared. He leans up and gives him a small, quick kiss, and Jared’s pretty startled at the overtly public gesture. He doesn’t even think Jensen realizes he did it.

Jared smiles and leans down to repeat it, makes his kiss little less quick and a little less polite.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen repeats, a little flustered. “I hope you didn’t have to wait long but I really can’t put your name on the room.”

“I get it,” Jared says, shrugging. “It’s no big deal.”

“Yeah?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Jared reassures. “Are you going to get in trouble for me being here?”

“No,” Jensen answers. “The company didn’t pay for your flight or anything. And I’m not exactly going to be using my corporate card this weekend.”

“Okay,” Jared says, and they make their way to the elevator. “What about all the guys from work here? Are they going to give you a hard time?”

He shakes his head. “It’s just Eric and I.”

“Eric?”

“Kripke, the Plant Manager. I’m sure you’ve seen him before.”

“Should I be jealous? Is he hot?” he asks teasingly.

Jensen blinks and they step into the elevator. “Wow. I’m going to let you answer that for yourself when you see him.”

Jared doesn’t see him, though, not that night. They stay in and order room service.

\---

Jared’s already back in the room, lying on the bed, when Jensen finishes up his meetings the next day. Jared watches him undo the first few buttons of his shirt and toe off his shoes and thinks to himself, Yeah, I could definitely come home to this every day.

“I hate vinyl siding,” he says, flopping onto his stomach on the bed next to Jared. He throws an arm over Jared’s waist and buries his face in a pillow. “I never want to hear about it again.”

“Poor baby,” Jared mocks. “They set you up in nice hotels and send you all over the U.S. and your life is so hard.”

“Stop it,” Jensen says, the pillow muffling his words. “You’re supposed to be nice to me.”

He laughs and climbs off the bed, tugging Jensen with him. “C’mon, let’s go get something to eat.”

Jensen groans. “How are you so full of energy? What did you do today?”

Jared rummages through his luggage for a nicer shirt and says, “Saw a baseball game at Wrigley Field, checked out a few museums, went to the zoo--”

“You did not,” Jensen interrupts. He squints at Jared. “Did you?”

“No,” he laughs. “I bought a disposable camera from the gift shop and took a few pictures of the city. Then I ate at McDonalds.”

“You have fun?” Jensen asks, and Jared can hear it for what it is: Are you still glad you came?

“I did,” he answers. “It’s funny, though. Did you know McDonalds tastes the same here as it does back at home?”

Jensen gasps theatrically.

Jared loses it at the expression on Jensen’s face and falls onto the bed, still laughing and half-undressed. When Jensen comes to sit on the bed next to him, Jared bats him away. “No, focus. We need food.”

“We can order food here,” he says, pointing to the menu.

“Nope,” Jared says, pushing him off the bed. “You can’t keep me locked in here like your dirty little secret,” he says playfully.

“Little,” Jensen grumbles under his breath as Jared grabs his camera and they leave the room. “You’re a little pain in my ass.”

Jared just ignores him and drapes an arm across Jensen’s shoulders. “Come on, hot stuff. Gimme a tour of the city.”

\---

They end up at a decent steakhouse, nothing too upscale, and Jared looks around appreciatively while he steals some of Jensen’s potatoes. “It’s nice,” Jared muses. “You ever been here before?”

Jensen snorts into his drink. “No. I don’t usually leave the hotel, Jared.”

“What?” he asks quizzically.

He shrugs. “They’re business trips,” he explains. “I usually just fall asleep after I get room service.”

“Oh,” Jared says plainly.

“It’s nice just, you know. Sharing this,” Jensen continues, looking at his food. “With you.”

He looks embarrassed so Jared just grins to himself and doesn’t say anything else.

They walk around the city for awhile after that, Jared stopping every once in awhile to make Jensen pose for a picture. When it starts to get a little darker outside, he stops a girl wearing a battered Cubs shirt and asks her to take their picture. He grabs Jensen’s hand and it feels weirdly romantic and girly and sentimental but he doesn’t let it go. He grips it tight until the flash goes off, like he needs it as some kind of proof, like he can pull out the picture someday and say, See, we were there and it happened and that’s how we felt.

She hands back the camera and smiles at them. “You’re adorable,” she says shyly.

Jensen gives her a look and says, “I don’t even know this guy. He came up and asked me to take a picture with him.”

She laughs softly and waves as she walks away.

Jared watches her go and stands behind Jensen, wrapping his arms around him. “Let’s go,” he whispers to the back of his neck.

Jensen tilts his head and Jared kisses behind his ear. “Go where? I thought you wanted a tour of the city?”

Jared sighs. “I did. Now I want a tour of the hotel. More specifically, the hotel room.”

Jensen gives him a quiet laugh and nods.

The rest of the pictures are all taken from inside their room.

\---

Everything’s different when they get back. Even when he looks at Jensen, it’s different. He smiles at Jensen like he doesn’t know how not to and when Jared’s alone with him, it’s not always lewd innuendos spilling out of his mouth but instead, it’s whispered flattery tumbling out helplessly. Things like, God you look good today or Your smile, Christ, your smile. They sound different now, not smarmy or cocky but intimate and genuine, and it makes Jared self-conscious.

Jared feels the shift, even if he isn’t entirely sure what it means. He’s wanted this thing with Jensen for so long but now, he’s almost embarrassed when he figures out that it’s more than that. It’s gone beyond wanting into some kind of pathetic need and the realization has him sitting in his corner cubicle, blushing and shifting uncomfortably.

He ignores the feeling all week, pushing it down and focusing on work, until lunchtime on Friday when he's bored and left alone with his thoughts. He decides to visit Chad.

“What do you think it means?” he asks Chad, leaning up against his closed door. “Why am I suddenly all weird and fidgety and like, fixated?”

He snorts. “How the fuck should I know? Go ask your boyfriend.” He gives Jared a look. “Or is he busy in the backseat of a Chevy with that receptionist somewhere?”

Jared rolls his eyes. “Let it go,” he tells him. “And stop sending me stupid emails. You’re obsessed with this.”

Chad shrugs and says, “Just looking out for you, Jay.”

It’s uncharacteristically nice, even if it’s displaced and dysfunctional.

They sit in silence for a minute. “Well, thanks for all the help,” Jared says wryly.

“If you came to me for relationship advice, you’re more fucked in the head than I thought,” Chad retorts.

Jared shrugs, concurring, and walks back to his desk slowly.

When he gets back, his email inbox has all but exploded and he has seventeen new unread messages. He gets an unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach.

\---

\---Original Message---  
From: Chad M Murray  
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 9:43 AM  
To: Jared Padalecki  
Subject: homo

where was your homo bf last night? he didn’t show at the bar

C Murray  
Maintenance x3666

\---Original Message---  
From: Jared Padalecki  
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 9:59 AM  
To: Chad M Murray  
Subject: RE: homo

Probably off screwing the receptionist, is that what you were looking for?

And stop typing ‘homo’. You’re gonna get our emails flagged.

Jared Padalecki  
Information Technology  
Extension 3131

\---Original Message---  
From: Chad M Murray  
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 10:13 AM  
To: Jared Padalecki  
Subject: RE: homo

maybe you should start screwing a receptionist too. that burton girl is hot and secretarys know how to use their hands. homo

C Murray  
Maintenance x3666

\---Original Message---  
From: Jared Padalecki  
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 10:17 AM  
To: Chad M Murray  
Subject: RE: homo

Maybe I will, douche. Leave Hilarie alone.

Jared Padalecki  
Information Technology  
Extension 3131

\---Original Message---  
From: Chad M Murray  
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 11:03 AM  
To: Sophia Bush  
Subject: FW: homo

see, sophia baby, i told you. no couple is perfect. you free on friday?

C Murray  
Maintenance x3666

\---Original Message---  
From: Sophia Bush  
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 11:05 AM  
To: Katie Cassidy, Sandra McCoy  
Subject: FW: homo

What the hell? Did Jared and Jensen break up?

Sophia Bush  
Customer Service ext. 3111

\---Original Message---  
From: Sandra McCoy  
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 11:07 AM  
To: Kristen Bell  
Subject: FW: homo

Did you hear? When did this happen? :(

Sandy McCoy  
Customer Service, extension 3003

\---Original Message---  
From: Kristen Bell  
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 11:09 AM  
To: Danneel Harris  
Subject: FW: homo

Is Jensen single?

Kristen Bell  
Transportation Logistics  
x 3456

From: Danneel Harris  
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 12:00 PM  
To: Jared Padalecki  
Subject: FW: homo

Classy, Jared.

D. Harris, Director of Payroll  
Extension 3333

\---

Jensen doesn’t answer his phone. Jared books it down to his office, heart beating rapid-fire and palms already sweaty. He hopes that maybe, just maybe, no one’s forwarded the email to Jensen yet.

He peeks his head into Jensen’s office, a little out of breath and says, “Hey.”

Jensen doesn’t even look up. “Not now, Jared,” he says, his tone flat.

“I know you’re busy, Jen, but we gotta talk.” Jared stands in front of his desk and even though he’s towering over Jensen’s chair, Jared feels small and completely vulnerable.

“I’m busy,” Jensen says and his voice is totally expressionless. “I have a report to finish and after that, I penciled some time in to go screw my receptionist.”

Jared’s stomach drops. No such luck then.

“Jensen,” he tries and Jensen finally looks up at him.

“Not now, Jared,” he says. His eyes are dim and his mouth is set in a firm line. It’s a look Jared’s never seen on him before and he desperately wishes he wasn’t seeing it now.

“Just let me explain,” he tries again.

“What part of not now aren’t you getting?” he asks with narrowed eyes, voice dangerously low. He goes back to his paperwork.

When Jared doesn’t budge, he says, “Don’t you have a secretary to screw somewhere?”

Jared lets out a miserable sigh. “It’s not what it looks li--”

“I don’t care,” Jensen cuts him off.

Jared’s heartbeat hasn’t slowed to a normal rate yet and for the first time, he starts genuinely freaking the fuck out.

“Jensen,” he starts.

“Get out,” Jensen hisses. “We’re not doing this right now.”

“When then?” Jared asks, a little frantic.

He doesn’t answer, just looks up to level him with a glare and Jared can’t do anything but swallow hard.

“Okay,” Jared backs down. “Later. We’ll talk later.”

Jensen looks away again. “Whatever.”

Jared leaves the office slowly, listening for Jensen’s voice to call him back. He never hears it.

*

**_Seven: Don't Let It Affect Your Work_**  
Jared is relatively useless for the rest of the day. He sits at his desk and catches up on all of the things he’s been putting off, things that he can sit at his desk for so that he doesn’t have to see anyone.

He deletes every email.

He shuts down his computer at a quarter till five and stares at the display on his desk phone for fifteen minutes. As soon as it turns to five PM, he makes a mad dash for the parking lot and lets out a sigh of relief when he sees Jensen’s car still parked in its same spot up against the fence in the back.

He leans against Jensen’s passenger side door, can see his own sunglasses sitting on the seat when he peeks in. He watches everyone pour out of the building, all of them seemingly light-hearted and enjoying the sunny start to their weekend. No one looks over to see Jared and he doubts any of them would say anything if they did.

So Jared waits. When he gets tired of standing, he sits and rests his back against the heated metal of the door, pulls his knees up and rests his arms on top. He checks his cell phone after about an hour and blinks when he sees that it’s only 5:13.

The parking lot continues to clear out. Jared continues to wait.

He’s so caught up in his own thoughts and what he’s going to say that he barely registers Jensen walking towards his car until he’s only a few feet away. Jared stands up hurriedly and sees that the parking lot is empty, save for Jared’s car at the other end.

“You’re still here,” Jensen says, impassive. He stops a few feet in front of Jared.

“Yeah,” Jared answers, throat dry. “Look, can I--”

“I don’t want to do this now,” Jensen says calmly. “Or here.”

“Then when?” Jared asks, frustrated. “I’m freaking out right now.”

“I don’t know,” he answers.

“You gotta give me something to work with here,” Jared pleads. “That email was stupid and completely taken out of context and I don’t even know why the fuck anyone felt the need to forward it on but--”

“You think that’s the problem here?” Jensen interrupts, eyes suddenly angry. “That someone forwarded an email? That it was taken out of context?”

“No, that’s not--”

“Take some responsibility, Jared,” he demands. “You basically accused me of cheating on my boyfriend with my best friend in a work email and then managed to get it sent all over the fucking corporate offices.”

“I was joking!” Jared tries, a little desperately. “It was stupid, I know, but it wasn’t serious!”

“Oh, that makes it okay that everyone in the fucking company saw it then,” Jensen spits out. “Are you going to send out an addendum on Monday? Let everyone know that oops, sorry, your sarcasm didn’t carry over so well?”

“Jen,” he says, and he hates that his voice comes out shaky but he’s never seen Jensen like this. He thought it’d be bad but not this bad.

Jensen takes a deep breath. “Look, let’s just drop it. This,” he sighs. “This just isn’t worth it.”

Jared’s heart stops, actually fucking stops. “What?” he chokes out. There’s no way they’re both talking about the same this.

“It was stupid,” Jensen continues, like he’s almost talking to himself. “These relationships never work out.”

“What relationships?” he asks, trying to find his voice.

Jensen looks up at him then, like he forgot he was there, and he gestures around vaguely. “These. Office relationships.” He shakes his head and says, “I knew that. I knew that and I did it anyway.”

“C’mon, Jen,” Jared says, and he takes a step to close the distance between them.

Jensen takes a step back and then moves to walk around to the driver’s side.

“C’mon,” Jared tries again, not even trying to hide the note of desperation in his voice. He stares at Jensen over the roof of the car. “Don’t do this.”

“It’s not worth it,” Jensen says but not unkindly, just resigned.

Jared takes it like a punch to the gut anyway. “You don’t mean that, I know you don’t. You’re happy with me, we’re happy, I know you are.”

“There’s just too much drama,” Jensen says, not denying anything. “It feels like we’re in high school all over again and I’m too old for that shit.”

Jared walks around the car and pushes himself into Jensen’s personal space, cringes as he watches Jensen fight to not back away.

“It doesn’t have to be like that,” Jared tries. “We’ll keep it quiet, be discreet, whatever you want to do, Jen. I’ll be mature about it, I swear to God.”

Jensen shakes his head and looks away. “I can’t, Jared.”

He reaches out to frame Jensen’s head with his hands and he forces Jensen to look at him. “You can. Don’t do this,” he begs.

Jensen gently removes himself from Jared’s grip and doesn’t say anything. He unlocks his car door and Jared can feel himself start to vibrate with panic.

“Is this-- is this about Misha?” he says, with absolutely no control over his speech.

Jensen turns, slowly turns, to face Jared. “Excuse me?” he asks, eerily calm.

Jared wills himself to shut the fuck up but he can’t seem to switch on his verbal filter. “Misha,” he repeats shakily. “Are you in love with him?”

And the bitch of the situation is that he knows Jensen isn’t, he knows it but he fucking asks anyway because the guy gets under his skin and Jensen’s walking away from this, from them, and Jared’s freaking the fuck out and he’s crossed over into full-on irrational.

Jensen blinks and finally, gives Jared a bitter smile. “Is this you being mature about it?” Jensen asks. “Fuck you,” he adds as an afterthought. It comes out strangled instead of angry and Jared flinches more from the tone than the words.

Jensen doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t wait for any kind of response, and he gets into his car and starts the ignition. Jared stares down at him helplessly.

He drives away, makes a right-hand turn out of the parking lot, and fades out of view. Jared stares after him until his feet start to hurt and a car horn in the distance brings him back to reality.

He climbs into bed almost as soon as he gets home and he ignores every phone call he gets. He stares up at his ceiling and thinks about how big his bed feels. He’s had it for almost six years and never really thought twice about its size but after only three months with Jensen, it suddenly feels too big. It feels empty.

It’s sort of the theme of his weekend. Everything feels empty.

\---

He briefly considers calling off on Monday but it’s not really his style. Plus, part of him thinks that maybe it’ll all blow over, maybe come Monday, Jensen will have calmed down and they can have like, mind-blowing make-up sex.

And, he realizes somewhat pathetically, seeing Jensen, even an angry one, is better than sitting at home and not seeing Jensen at all.

After about two hours of staring at his computer monitor, he can’t stand it anymore and he heads to Jensen’s office with apprehension.

He clears his throat when he stops in and gives a perfunctory knock on the open door. Jensen looks up at him and Jared aches at the complete lack of emotion he sees there. It’s like Jensen doesn’t even recognize him.

Jared’s gaze falls to the empty space in front of Jensen’s desk and he blinks at the missing red leather chair, Jared’s red leather chair. His chair has been unceremoniously deported and Jared takes the hint: this is not a fight, this is a breakup.

“Right,” Jared says softly to no one in particular while Jensen still stares at him with a blank look. “Right, okay.”

He makes a graceful exit and thinks about how hard it was to cut out a spot for himself in Jensen’s life, and about how easy it was for Jensen to cut him right back out.

It hurts. Right on top of everything else and that stupid fucking red chair, it hurts.

\---

He spends half of the morning relocating a few girls in Customer Service to a new room while the department undergoes some personnel changes and a corporate restructuring, as Jeff calls it. He keeps to himself and if it takes him a little longer to do his job and focus, no one calls him on it.

“Jared!” he hears Katie call out as he passes by her room.

He backtracks. “Yeah?”

“My computer keeps freezing; will you look at it?” She doesn’t sound unpleasant exactly, but her voice doesn’t hold the usual friendliness she reserves for him.

“Did you try restarting it?”

“Of course,” she answers, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, okay,” he says.

She gets up and he takes her seat, feeling all of their eyes on them. He doesn’t say anything.

“So,” Sophia starts. He can tell she’s trying to convey as much attitude as she possibly can in just that single word.

“You’re kind of a dick,” she says.

His grip tightens on Katie’s mouse and he says, “Yeah.”

Jared doesn’t look at any of them but he can tell by their silence that they’re all a little surprised. He’s not sure what reaction they’re looking for but he doubts that they’ll get it.

“Wanna tell us your side?” she asks, tone still dripping with bitchiness.

He shrugs. “Not really,” he says simply.

Because really, he doesn’t have a side. As much as he wants to ask them why the hell they had to forward that stupid email on or to blame them for their share, it’s not entirely fair. Deep down he knows it’s not their fault. And deep down he knows it’s not really worth it. It’s between him and Jensen and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or even what they think they know.

Jared doesn’t have a side in this but if he did, no one would be on it anyway.

She seems a little taken aback, at least enough to drop the subject.

Jared kind of forgets what he was doing and has to start all over again.

“Are you okay?” Katie asks tentatively, watching him over his shoulder.

“Fine,” he says but he doesn’t even put enough effort into it to make it convincing.

He tries to quickly troubleshoot her computer problems but can’t keep his concentration on the task at hand long enough. It takes him twice as long as it normally would and by the end, all three of the girls are outright staring at him.

“Jared?” Sandy asks, a little worried.

“There you go,” he says to Katie, standing up. “You were just locked up in Linux.”

“Okay,” she says slowly. “Thanks.”

“Jared,” Sandy tries again but he just waves and heads towards the door.

“Let me know if it acts up again,” he says on his way out. He knows they’re going to start talking about him the second he leaves and he wants to be far away from it, from all of it.

\---

He spends a few mind-numbing hours in the conference hall in the Marketing wing, unhooking and rehooking cables with Alison so that they can replace all of the old equipment and relocate everything to a different corner of the room. They don’t talk for the first hour.

“You’re quiet,” she says finally.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“No need to apologize,” she responds softly. “It’s just weird.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats.

They’re silent for awhile.

“Is everything okay?” she asks when they take a five minute break to sit in some of the plastic chairs.

He shrugs. “You know.”

“No,” she says, frowning. “I really don’t.”

“The whole thing with Jensen,” he clarifies. “But I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“Okay,” she says simply. And then, “What thing with Jensen?”

He gives her a skeptical look.

“What?” she asks, confused.

“You haven’t heard all about it?”

She frowns again. “No.” She tilts her head and says, “People don’t usually gossip to me about you, Jared.”

“Oh,” he says.

“People think we’re best friends or something,” she goes on. “They used to come up to me for information or to ask about rumors.”

“They did?” he asks curiously. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” she admits. “Maybe because we work together and I don’t really hang out with anyone else at work.”

Jared thinks. “I never knew that.” He doesn’t really know much about her, he realizes, and he feels kind of shitty about it. He wonders why she’s never been out with them to the bar or why he’s never had lunch with her.

She nods. “I know you didn’t. No one ever believed me when I said I didn’t know anything.”

They sit in a comfortable silence.

“I sent a stupid email,” Jared tells her abruptly, because she deserves that much at least. She’s apparently had his back for years now and she deserves something from him. “It circulated around and now Jensen’s not speaking to me.”

“Oh,” she says sympathetically. “I’m sorry. I’m sure it’ll work out.”

“We broke up,” he clarifies.

She’s silent.

“And he kinda won all of my friends in the breakup.”

“Ouch,” she winces.

“Yeah.”

They sit in silence for awhile.

“I was dating Josh when I got this job,” she says awkwardly. “They moved me from Shipping to I.T. and everyone thought it was because I was banging the boss.”

“Jackson?” Jared asks. “The VP of Customer Relations?”

She nods. “Yeah. The Kristens spread some nasty rumors around.”

“Really? Why’d they care?”

She shrugs and plays with her hands. “Moving out from the plant in to corporate is kind of a big deal. I got a lot of slack for it.”

“Oh,” he says. “So you and Josh aren’t together anymore?”

She shakes her head. “Nah. It didn’t end so well.”

Jared gives her an empathetic look. “I didn’t know any of that.”

“Just in case, you know, you were wondering why I don’t hang out with people from work. They don’t like me so much.”

“I didn’t know any of that,” he repeats. “You believe me, right?”

“I do,” she says, smiling.

He smiles back. “Wanna be pariahs together?” he asks.

She laughs and they get back to work. It goes a lot quicker.

\---

He eats his lunch alone in his cubicle. It’s not the first time, not by far, but it’s the loneliest.

\---

Jeff sends him to Payroll when he gets back from lunch. Jared walks slowly and with more dread than he's felt in a long while.

Danneel glances up at him quickly when he stops at her desk and gives him a disdainful look. “Gabe said he’d send Alison,” she says, annoyed.

“She’s getting her yearly review,” Jared mumbles, eyes on his feet.

“I’ll wait,” Danneel says stubbornly.

“She’ll be awhile,” he says apologetically. “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

She sighs and something flashes in her eyes, something veering dangerously close to sympathy, before she stamps it out. “Fine. I forgot to reset my password and now it has me locked up.”

“It prompts you for two weeks before it expires,” he says, disbelieving. “How could you forget for two weeks?”

She gives him a warning look and he remembers where he is and who he’s talking to and he says, “Uh, I mean, yeah. I’ll reset it for you.”

He makes good on his promise and resets it quickly. He gives her a small smile and she looks away. He thinks of saying something to her, even though he’s not really sure what, but before he can get the words out, she raises one perfect eyebrow and says, “Don’t.”

He closes his mouth.

“I didn’t pass him messages before and I most certainly won’t do it now,” she says harshly. Her look softens slightly and she lowers her voice. “Just. Leave him alone, okay?”

He nods and lets her be.

\---

The rest of the week goes by just a dismally. He only sees Jensen once on Thursday, when Jared’s walking the Canon service guy out through the lobby. He turns to see Jensen standing at the receptionist desk, smiling and laughing with Misha.

Smiling and goddamn laughing.

Jared clenches his fist, tightens his jaw, and looks away.

He gets it then, it all finally sinks in. It’s over, they’re done.

Jared doesn’t sleep that night; he stares at the wall and thinks about the pictures sitting in the Wal-Mart photo lab envelope on his dresser. He thinks about the picture of the two of them in Chicago, Jared grabbing Jensen’s hand as some kind of proof.

It came out kind of blurry but they’re both smiling and Jensen’s eyes are the greenest Jared’s ever seen them. It serves as proof, just like Jared thought it would. He just didn’t think he’d need the proof, the memories, not this soon. He kind of thought he’d have the real thing for awhile.

It hits him then that he's in love with Jensen, completely, stupidly, hopelessly in love with him. He feels like an idiot for not knowing it before.

It’s not a good feeling. It feels completely stupid and hopeless.

*

**_Eight: Don't Forget Friendships Are the Best Foundation_**  
Jared’s staring at the vending machine (the Food Wheel, he can distantly hear Jensen say) the next day, zoning out and counting the hours left until the weekend when he looks over to see Sandy staring up at him.

“You weren’t at O’Reilly’s last night,” she states.

“No,” he says. “I wasn't.”

“How come?” she asks timidly.

He cocks his head at her. “No one’s been exactly warm to me, Sandy. Thought I’d spare myself the drama.”

“Yeah,” she says slowly. “I’m sorry about that. I think we’ve all been a bit … unfair to you.”

He gives her a doubtful look. “Oh yeah?”

She nods earnestly. “We didn’t realize how upset you’d be, Jared. And you look … upset.”

“Hm,” he says vaguely, looking back to the machine. He doesn’t say anything else but he can still feel her watching him.

“What did you do to that boy?” she asks in a hushed tone, sounding overwhelmingly sad.

“What?” he says.

“What did you do to him?” she repeats. “It breaks my heart.”

“What are you even talking about?” he asks. “Can we not do this here?”

She ignores him and puts a small hand on his arm. “He looks--”

“Yeah, I’ve seen,” Jared cuts her off, not able to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “He’s just having a grand ol’ time, isn’t he?”

Her eyes narrow in confusion. “He looked terrible,” she tells him.

“What?” he says, surprised. “When?”

“Last night at O’Reilly’s,” she explains. “He was hammered.”

Jared blinks. “He was hammered?” he says quietly.

“Yeah,” she whispers. “He looked terrible.”

“Oh.”

“What did you do to him?” she asks again.

He shrugs miserably in response. “I thought he was okay,” he says defensively. “He seemed okay.”

“Why would you think something like that, you idiot?” she asks, not unkindly.

“I don’t know. He was the one that ended it.”

“Oh God,” she sighs, sounding irritated. “You’re so selfish, Jared. Pull your head out of your ass and take a look around. You’re not the only one who’s hurting here.”

“I. What?”

“You really think he was faking it that whole time?” she continues. “That he could go from caring about you that much to not caring about you at all?”

Jared doesn’t really have an answer for that.

“Pull yourself together,” she demands. “And then think about Jensen.”

“I do think about Jensen,” Jared argues. “I’m leaving him alone. It’s what he wants.”

She stares at him, bewildered. “You might work with computers all day and know how to do things the rest of us can’t even begin to understand,” she says, “but you’re an absolute idiot if you think that’s what he wants. I thought you were smarter than that.” She turns on her heel and he watches her walk away.

He stares after her, completely speechless. The vending machine whirs to life and Jared’s attention snaps back to it, buying the first thing he sees. He’s not really hungry anymore.

\---

Jared carries the week-old burrito with him upstairs while he makes the long trek to the Warranty department.

When he gets up there, Genevieve is in the same spot she was last time, huddled in the corner on the floor by stacks of paper.

“Hey,” he says.

She looks up and blinks. “Hello.”

“You uh, needed I.T.?”

“Yes,” she answers, looking back down. “My computer locked up and won’t let me on.”

Jared lets out a small and what he hopes is a nearly-silent sigh. “Did you forget to re-set your password?”

“No,” she says immediately but she won’t look him in the eye.

“Okay,” he says, unconvinced.

It only takes a few minutes to re-set but before he can leave, she says, “I think Alona was having the same problem,” still not looking at him.

He rolls his eyes. “Okay,” he says again, and makes his way into Alona’s office.

When he’s finished, he leaves without another word but Genevieve calls him back.

“Jared!”

“What?” he says, startled.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asks, and she wrinkles her nose like he’s diseased.

“Nothing,” he says. “What wrong with you?”

“I’m always like this,” she says. “But you, you’re being all weird.”

“I am?”

“You’re all quiet. What’s wrong with you?”

He stares at her. “I’m fine.”

She ignores him. “Is this because you and your boyfriend broke up?” she wonders, and he blanches at her directness.

“I’m fine,” he echoes.

“Uh huh,” she says, not persuaded. “Can’t you just get a new one?”

Jared opens his mouth to say something rude but then he realizes that’s she’s trying. She’s actually making an effort to be friendly and helpful and he doesn’t have the heart to tell her how much she sucks at it.

All he says is, “No.”

“Why?” she pushes on. “You seem like you’d be good at getting new boyfriends.”

“I,” he starts. “I don’t know. I like the old one.”

“Oh.”

He waits for a minute and then wonders if he can turn and go.

“Can’t you like, get the old one back again?”

He sighs. “No. He mostly hates me.”

She blinks and cocks her head, giving him a funny look. “I don’t hate you,” she tells him, and Jared tries to figure out if that’s supposed to be a consolation prize or something.

“Okay,” he says simply. “Thank you.”

She rolls her eyes. She says, “What I mean is: just because I come across kind of cold or--” and she waves her hand around like she searching for a better word.

“Completely detached from all human emotion?” he supplies.

She glares. “Yes, or that, it doesn’t mean that I don’t like you.”

“Okay,” he responds, a little lost.

“So,” Genevieve says slowly, like she’s talking to a child, “don’t always assume that the way someone treats you is reflective of how they feel. Sometimes, you’d be wrong.”

He nods. He thinks about what she’s telling him, about what Sandy told him earlier, about the picture sitting on his bedroom dresser.

He spends Saturday thinking and he goes grocery shopping on Sunday.

\---

The first thing he does when he gets to work on Monday is turn his computer on. The second thing he does is head downstairs to Jensen’s office.

Jensen’s still getting settled in when Jared gets there and he doesn’t notice him right away. Jared sees that his red chair is still suspiciously absent.

He startles when he catches Jared hovering in his doorway. “God, you scared me,” he says, and then Jared watches his eyes settle back to neutral. He stares at Jared, unmoving.

“I made you this,” Jared says finally, holding up a turkey sandwich in a Ziploc baggie.

Jensen glances between the turkey sandwich and Jared and doesn’t say anything.

“As in, I actually made it,” Jared clarifies. “Bought that disgusting bread you like, the kind you made me try when you attempted French toast.”

The corner of Jensen’s mouth twitches but other than that, there’s no noticeable reaction.

“And that organic cheese you like,” Jared continues weakly. “And honey mustard, not the yellow stuff you hate.”

They stare at each other for a few more moments.

“Okay,” Jared says, laying the sandwich on his desk. “Well, I’ll just leave this here.”

He leaves and neither of them say anything else.

\---

He stops by Maintenance before he goes back to his desk to ask Chad for a favor.

“Yeah?” Chad asks when he sees Jared. His pants are half undone and Jared looks away respectfully.

“Oh, sorry,” Chad says when he looks down.

“You’re at work,” Jared says, gesturing in the vicinity of Chad’s fly. “What were you doing?”

Chad gives him a considering look. “Do you really want to know?”

“No,” Jared says immediately.

Chad eyes him. “So what do you want?”

“I need your help.”

“With?” he asks suspiciously.

“Who’s your night maintenance guy? The guy that empties the trash?”

“You mean James?” Chad asks. “Why?”

Before Jared can answer, Chad groans.

“No, I am not hooking you up with my fucking staff, you pervert. Goddammit, I am not your pimp.”

“I don’t want you to pimp me out!” Jared says loudly. “I want you to have him check Jensen’s trash tonight.”

Chad freezes. “What?”

“Just, I don’t know. See if there’s an empty Ziploc bag in his trashcan tonight.”

Chad gapes at him.

“I just need to see if it’s empty,” Jared continues, defensively.

When Chad finally answers, his voice his quiet. “That’s the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard, Jay. I’m not gonna lie to you.”

Jared rolls his eyes. “Can you just do that for me?”

“You get that, right? I’m probably unanimously the skeeviest guy here and I’m telling you that this is creepy.”

“Chad,” Jared says, voice firm.

“Yeah, yeah,” he replies, holding his hands up. “Whatever you want, psycho.”

Jared nods, satisfied but aware that yeah, he sounds a little weird. Whatever works, he tells himself. If Jensen starts speaking to him again, it’s worth it.

When he gets back to his desk, he has a new email and suddenly, everything’s worth it.

\---

\---Original Message---  
From: Jensen Ackles  
Sent: Monday, August 3, 2009 8:10 AM  
To: Jared Padalecki  
Subject:

Thanks.

J R Ackles  
Manufacturing Engineer  
Ext. 3773

From: Jared Padalecki  
Sent: Monday, August 3, 2009 8:31 AM  
To: Jensen Ackles  
Subject: RE:

Any time.

Jared Padalecki  
Information Technology  
Extension 3131

\---

He sticks it in his “Saved” folder and thinks about it for the rest of the day. He doesn’t stop smiling.

When he comes into work on Tuesday, he sees a Post-It on his keyboard: marsters says the plastic bag was empty, you fucking psycho.

Jared smiles a lot on Tuesday, too.

\---

He waits until later in the day on Tuesday to walk down to Jensen’s office to give him his lunch, mostly because there’s a computer virus going around from a Hallmark card someone in the Tax department received for his birthday.

He knocks on Jensen’s door again, still noting the missing chair.

“Hey,” he says, waving around the turkey sandwich like some kind of preemptive white flag.

“Hey,” Jensen says finally.

Jared walks over and places the sandwich on the corner of his desk. He stands there awkwardly for a minute and tries not to feel too embarrassed about his rapid heart rate.

“You don’t have to do that,” Jensen says quietly, looking at the sandwich.

“I know,” Jared says just as quiet.

He swallows.

“All right,” Jared says. “Well, see ya.”

“See ya,” Jensen echoes but Jared’s already out the door.

He’s still walking out of the Engineering department when he gets a call from HR.

“Can you come to my office?” Mike asks him over the line. It does nothing to help slow his pounding heart rate.

“Uh, sure thing. Be right there.” He starts freaking out.

His hands are sweating and he thinks, This is it.

When he gets there, though, Mike just gestures to the empty seat across from his desk and shuts the door. They take their seats and stare at each other.

“I’m sure you know why you’re here,” Mike says calmly.

Jared swallows hard and nods. “I can’t apologize, though.”

Mike looks at him and cocks his head. “It was your fault?”

Jared rolls his eyes and feels himself start to come unglued. “Yes, it was my fault, okay? It was my fucking fault, because that’s what everyone wants to hear, isn’t it? No one wants to hear my side of anything, and you know what? I get that, I do. I fucked up and made a mess of everything so no, I’m not expecting anyone to feel sorry for me or let me off the hook or any of that shit. But it sucks, okay? It really fucking sucks because everyone keeps acting like this is a fucking cakewalk for me and it’s not. It’s just. It’s not, okay? I’m miserable and alone and if I knew that this was what being in love felt like, I wouldn’t have done it. I don’t care if that makes me a bad person because no, I would not have put myself in this shitty situation if I knew this was how it was going to feel. How I was going to feel. I hate this, I hate having to see him here and give him lameass organic turkey sandwiches just to talk to him. I feel fucking pathetic about it, is that what you want to know? Does everyone love knowing how miserable I am? Everyone’s on his side for this whole thing, like he’s so fucking perfect. And you know what? Know what the bitch of it is? He kind of is perfect. I mean, he’s occasionally neurotic and he's a little too close to the fucking receptionist for my comfort but yeah, that’s more my issue than his. So even if he’s not perfect, he’s perfect for me because he just. He just is, okay? Look at the guy and tell me how I was supposed to not fall in love with him. And even if you take away all of that, his fucking perfect smile and his goddamn perfect eyes, if you take all that away and pretend he’s not completely fucking gorgeous, you still have everything left. It’s all still there, everything that matters. The way that he looks at me and takes me to Chicago and lets me eat off his plate and talks to me in public, even when I’ve got beer down my pants and look like I pissed myself. Tell me how I’m not supposed to be in love with him, please do. So no, sir, I do not apologize for my relationship with him. I can’t and I won’t.”

Jared finishes his rant and waits. He just verbal vomited on his Human Resource rep and all he can think about is what the proper etiquette is: does he walk himself out or does he wait for Mike to escort him? Do they mail him his personal effects or does he collect them in a cardboard box first?

Jared waits and Mike eyes him.

“Uh huh,” Mike says. “Good, good.” He clasps his hands together and rests them on his desk.

“Good?” Jared echoes.

Mike opens his mouth and reconsiders. He shakes his head and tries again. “What are you talking about?” he finally says.

“Jensen,” Jared replies warily.

“Uh huh,” Mike says nodding. And then, “Is he the one responsible for the virus?”

“The virus?” he repeats.

“The virus. The one going around the company. The one I called you in here about.”

“Oh,” Jared says on an exhale.

“Yeah,” Mike says slowly.

Jared waits a beat. “Am I getting fired anyway?”

He frowns. “Why would you be fired?”

Jared waves around vaguely. “You know. That.”

“Huh,” Mike says. “No.”

They go back to eyeing each other.

“Let’s start over,” he says. “And we can pretend that never happened.”

“Okay,” Jared agrees.

“I have a virus,” Mike says.

Jared nods. “Uh huh.”

Mike waits. “Well, can you remove it?”

“That’s why you called me in here?”

He brings his clasped hands to his face and presses his pointer fingers to his mouth, like he’s very deep in thought. “Hmm. You do work for I.T., right?”

“Yes,” Jared answers, unsure.

“Hmm,” he says again. “Are you high?”

Jared blanches. “What? No.”

“It’s okay,” Mike reassures. “This is all off the record.”

“Still no,” he tells him.

Mike thinks for a minute. “Well, I’ll let you get to it then. There’s personal information on this computer, Jared. It needs to remain confidential.”

“Okay,” Jared agrees. “Like stuff about Tom’s mail bombs?”

“You know about those?” Mike asks quizzically.

Jared shrugs. “Yeah.”

“And the poisoned coffee?”

“Uh,” Jared says awkwardly. “I do now.”

“No matter,” he says nonchalantly.

Before Mike leaves, Jared says, “Don’t you have to like, fire people for attempted homicide?”

Mike frowns and shrugs. “That’s a really black and white way of looking at everything. I like to see the gray.”

“Okay,” Jared says. “So what’s the gray?”

“Let me tell you a story,” he says, sitting on the edge of his desk. “There’s a guy in our maintenance department that has forty-three reports of sexual harassment filed against him. Forty-three.”

Jared groans inwardly and waits for Mike to finish the story. He doesn’t.

“And?” Jared prompts.

“And nothing,” he continues. “If we did things your way, we wouldn’t have a maintenance guy, just because of a few mistakes.”

“Forty-three isn’t exactly a few,” Jared points out.

“Semantics,” he replies, shrugging.

“Right,” Jared says slowly.

“I don’t like firing people, Jared. So I don’t.”

“Is that legal?”

“I’m not sure. But it’s a lot of paperwork.”

Jared just stares at him.

“And you know,” Mike continues, “It’s been my experience that everyone deserves a second chance.”

“Or forty-three of them,” Jared offers.

“Or forty-three. I don’t think there’s anything that’s truly unforgiveable, don’t you agree?”

“No,” Jared says.

“Well, I doubt that you did anything truly unforgiveable so maybe if you sit down and tell this girl--”

“Guy,” Jared corrects.

“This guy,” Mike amends, “if you tell him how you feel and that you’re sorry for cheating on him--”

“I didn’t cheat on him,” Jared interjects.

“Right,” Mike says, “For whatever you did then. Well, then I’m sure he’ll find it in his heart to forgive you.”

“Okay,” Jared says hesitantly.

“Okay,” Mike repeats. “Good luck with the virus. And the guy.”

Jared stares at the picture of Peter Gabriel saved as Mike’s desktop background and tries to find some motivation to continue on with his day. He thinks about getting back to his desk to see if maybe, maybe he has any new emails from an engineer.

\---

\---Original Message---  
From: Jensen Ackles  
Sent: Tuesday, August 3, 2009 12:37 PM  
To: Jared Padalecki  
Subject:

It needs more mustard.

J R Ackles  
Manufacturing Engineer  
Ext. 3773

From: Jared Padalecki  
Sent: Tuesday, August 4, 2009 2:13 PM  
To: Jensen Ackles  
Subject: RE:

Whatever you want, diva.

Jared Padalecki  
Information Technology  
Extension 3131

\---

On Wednesday, Jared brings the sandwich and an extra bottle of mustard. “Here you go,” Jared says, setting them both down on Jensen’s desk. He forgets to knock first.

“Thanks,” he says, giving Jared a small smile.

Jared blinks and beams back at him, forgetting what he was going to say. “Course.”

He turns and leaves, determined not to wear out his welcome.

\---

On Thursday, he brings the sandwich and a bag of chips.

“Garden Salsa,” Jared points out.

It earns him another grin, even bigger than the last one.

“Maybe,” Jared starts, “Maybe I could join you for lunch sometime?”

Jensen’s grin falters. “Jared …”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he says. “I just thought-- maybe we could talk or something.”

Jensen sighs and he sounds tired. He looks tired and Jared can’t figure out why he didn’t notice it earlier.

“Jared,” he tries again.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Jared says, apologetic. “I didn’t mean to push.”

He makes a hasty retreat but he already has an email by the time he gets back to his desk.

\---

\---Original Message---  
From: Jensen Ackles  
Sent: Thursday, August 6, 2009 9:53 AM  
To: Jared Padalecki  
Subject:

How about O’Reilly’s?

J R Ackles  
Manufacturing Engineer  
Ext. 3773

From: Jared Padalecki  
Sent: Thursday, August 6, 2009 9:57 AM  
To: Jensen Ackles  
Subject: RE:

I’ll be there.

Jared Padalecki  
Information Technology  
Extension 3131

\---

“What do I do?” he asks Alison, kind of panicky.

“Just be normal,” she advises. “Don’t talk about anything too risky.”

“Like?”

“I don’t know,” she admits. “Just pretend he’s one of your friends and talk to him about that type of stuff.”

“Okay,” he says. “You’re coming, right?”

“What? No.”

“Why?” he asks, eyes wide.

“It’ll be weird,” she says, making a face.

“Like, talking to your ex who might still hate you at a bar surrounded by all of your co-workers, who still kind of hate you? Weird like that?”

She blinks. “Okay, fine. I’ll go. If all the girls are bitchy to me, I’m holding you personally responsible, in a violent kind of way.”

“Fair enough,” he agrees.

\---

Jared ends up staying late and by the time he gets to the bar, everyone else is already there. Misha is sitting next to Jensen at the bar and he makes eye contact with Jared when he sees him come up. Jared gives him an awkward nod and feels like a jackass. Misha has to think he’s the biggest tool but Jared hasn’t worked himself up enough to care.

When Misha stands to leave, Jensen looks up to see Jared. “Hey,” they say at the same time.

“I bought you a beer,” Jensen shows him. “It might be a little warm.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Jared says. He takes Misha’s vacated stool.

Jensen shrugs. “It’s what friends do.” Jared hears the implication, clear as day.

“Right,” he says. “Thanks.”

There’s an uncomfortable silence.

“So how was your day?” Jared asks finally.

Jensen smirks at him.

“What?” Jared says, defensively. “I’ve never done this before. I don’t know what friends talk about.”

“The weather?” Jensen suggests, shrugging.

Jared nods. “Local sports teams?”

“And celebrity scandals,” Jensen adds.

“Co-workers?”

“Politics,” he offers.

“The dating scene?”

Jensen stiffens next to him. “I don’t need to hear about your love life,” he says tersely.

“I. No, I know,” Jared says. “I was just kidding.”

Jensen doesn’t say anything.

“I’m not good at this,” Jared explains. “I’m just trying to think of things friends would talk about.”

“Yeah?” Jensen asks skeptically. “And you want to hear about my love life?”

“No,” Jared says so forcefully that it’s almost violent. “But that’s different.”

He’s quiet for a minute. “Different how?”

Jared shrugs. “It’s just different for me.”

“I don’t get it,” Jensen says irritably. “You’re not making any sense.”

He lets out a frustrated sigh. “Because I’m in love with you, okay? Of course I don’t want to hear about your love life.”

Jensen’s eyes guiltily dart up to Jared’s and then he looks away.

Jared starts to feel like a jackass all over again because yeah, it’s tacky to randomly blurt that out for the first time in the middle of the bar but--

Jensen won’t meet his eyes and Jared thinks, Holy shit.

“Holy shit,” he says, a little breathless. “It’s not different.”

“Jared,” he says warningly. “Don’t.”

“How-- I don’t-- Why didn’t you say anything?”

Jensen looks annoyed. “We’re not doing this here, Jared.”

Jared blinks a few times, not sure what else to say.

“Fine,” he says, backing down. “But at least let me--”

Jensen moves to get up but Jared puts his hand on his arm. “Don’t, Jen, c’mon.”

He swallows hard and sits back down.

“I’m sorry,” Jared tells him. “I know it sucks and everyone’s still talking and that you’re probably still pissed that so many people saw that stupid fucking email--”

“You think that’s what this was about?” Jensen asks, cutting him off. “You think I’m upset about what people think about me?”

“I don’t know,” Jared admits. “Maybe?”

Jensen sighs sadly. “One of my best friends is a raging bitch and the other acts like he's constantly on uppers. One of my ex-boyfriends screwed the boss’ son at a holiday party and the other spilled an entire bottle of beer on himself . At a holiday party.” He looks over at Jared. “I couldn’t care less what people think of me. I cared what you thought of me.”

“I,” Jared tries. “I know, I’m sorry. But I wasn’t serious, you have to believe me. That email was a stupid fucking joke.”

“The email-- it’s not about the email, man. You didn’t trust me and that’s not fair.”

“It was sarcasm,” Jared tries weakly.

“Maybe,” Jensen says. “But you reiterated it later. To my face, Jared. You asked me if I was in love with him.” Jensen shakes his head, like he still can’t believe it happened.

Jared shrugs helplessly.

“You don’t think I would have told you if there was something between Misha and I? You think I wouldn’t have been upfront about that?”

“No,” Jared answers honestly. “I know you would have. I was irrational, that’s all. It’s just, everyone’s in love with that guy.”

“Not everyone,” Jensen says sadly.

Jared flashes back to the picnic table and the hanging lights and their drunken conversation and he wonders all over again how he managed to fuck it all up.

“Are you in love with me?” Jared asks quietly.

Jensen shifts uncomfortably. “It doesn’t change anything,” he says.

“Don’t,” Jared says. “Don’t do that.”

“Yes, you jackass, of course I am,” he says, frustrated. “It’s a dumb fucking question.”

They stare at each other and it’s like the beginning all over again. Jared’s hands are sweaty and his stomach drops, his heart rate a little too fast.

“Jensen,” he says.

“I gotta go,” Jensen says quickly, carefully removing Jared’s hand from his arm. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Okay.”

He watches Jensen go and later, when he's staring at his ceiling and feeling sorry for himself all over again, it clicks.

Jensen’s in love with him. This changes everything.

*

** _Nine: Talk It Out and Keep It Honest_ **

Jared doesn’t exactly have a plan worked out by the next morning but it’s not like he would have had time to execute it if he did. As soon as he turns his computer on, his task reminder pops up to let him know that he’s got the biannual company meeting today and Jared groans. It’s usually a couple of hours long, a chance for the VPs to get up and talk about the past six months, and Jared generally thinks of it as two hours of his life that he’ll never get back.

“Don’t forget the meeting today,” Alison tells him as she sets down her purse and turns on her computer. “We have to help set up before the first one but it should only take a few minutes.”

“What time is the first one?” he asks.

“Nine thirty,” she answers. “Which one are you going to?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. The morning one is too early and I spend half the time fighting to stay awake but the afternoon one is too late and the meeting room is hot as hell by the time it rolls around.”

“Okay,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Then go to the noon one.”

“I can’t,” he says. “I have stuff to do during lunchtime.”

“Hm,” she comments. “And by stuff to do, do you mean delivering a paper bag lunch to a certain someone downstairs?”

Jared stubbornly doesn’t answer.

“Maybe he’s going to the noon one,” Alison continues. “Maybe he won’t even be there for your delivery.”

And Jared smiles at that. “I didn’t even think about that,” he says. “I wonder which one he’s going to.”

He calls Jensen. Jared’s half-convinced he won’t pick up because all of the phones have caller ID and pretty much everyone in the corporate offices pick and choose who they’ll answer for. Jared ignores about half of Gabe’s calls but then always feels bad and calls him back. He’s never once answered Chad’s.

“This is Jensen,” he says over the line, and Jared can’t help but grin at the small victory.

“Hey,” he says brightly. “Morning, sunshine.”

There’s a pause and then, “Morning, Jared.”

“How’s your day?” he asks.

“Uh, good, I guess. It’s only been going on for five minutes.”

“True,” Jared says. “But I feel like it’s going to be a good a day.”

There’s another pause and Jared wonders what Jensen looks like, if he’s smiling, what he's wearing. “You’re awfully cheerful today,” Jensen notes.

“Yeah,” he replies, leaning back in his chair. “I kind of am.”

Jared can practically see Jensen’s raised eyebrow. “Any particular reason?”

“Nah,” he says, thinking, Hell yeah. You’re in love with me.

He clears his throat. “Well, I’m glad that you’re. It’s good. I’m glad.”

Jensen’s flustered and Jared grins. “So, question,” he says.

“Okay.”

“Which meeting are you going to today?” he asks.

Jensen doesn’t say anything at first. “Why?”

“No reason.”

“I don’t know,” he answers. “Which one are you going to?”

“No way, I asked first,” he says.

“Yeah but you’re only asking so that you can accidentally show up to the one I go to.”

“Well, someone’s a little full of themselves, don’t you think?”

Jensen lets out a noise that sounds like a laugh but Jared can’t quite tell over the phone. “Tell me I’m wrong,” he says.

“You’re not wrong,” he responds. “But you’re only asking so that you can accidentally not be at the one I go to.”

Jensen makes the maybe-laugh noise again and doesn’t respond.

“I’ll go to all three,” Jared threatens. “You know I will.”

He’s still quiet and then, “The first one.” Jared can tell he’s smiling.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“If you’re not there, I’ll just show up to the others. Just so you know.”

“Yeah, I got it,” Jensen says.

“Good,” he grins. “See you then.”

He hangs up the phone and looks over at Alison who’s smiling to herself and shaking her head.

“I’ll meet up with you in the meeting room in a few,” he informs her. “Just gotta do something first.”

He doesn’t wait for her response, just books it to the Maintenance room. When he gets there, he’s a little out of breath and he doesn’t knock before he peeks his head in.

“I need some help,” he pants.

Chad looks up from his computer, whatever questionable website he’s looking at, and Jared makes a mental note to block Chad’s internet access before he gets himself almost fired.

“Okay,” Chad says slowly.

“Give me some advice,” he starts.

“Again?” Chad says disdainfully. “What the fuck, dude.”

“I’ll make it quick.”

“You need to get a fucking therapist, man. I can’t keep dispensing these words of fucking wisdom to you.”

“Oh, come on,” Jared says, rolling his eyes. “Your advice isn’t that good.”

Chad ignores him. “And it’s always relationship advice. You seriously don’t know anybody else with a little bit more expertise?”

“Okay, okay, I get it. But I need to know how to win somebody back.”

“What?”

“You seem like the go-to guy when it comes to second chances. Tell me how I get a second chance.”

He thinks for a minute. “Not really sure, Jay. I don’t think anyone’s ever taken me back.”

“Really?” he asks skeptically. “Never?”

Chad shrugs, unconcerned. “Can’t you just do what you did the first time? I mean, it worked once, didn’t it?”

Jared opens his mouth to tell him that it’s the dumbest idea he’s ever heard but then he cocks his head and considers it. “That’s not an entirely bad idea, Chad. It’s not like, dramatic or anything but it might work.”

Chad shrugs again. “Isn’t drama what got you into this in the first place?”

Jared resists from saying, No, you hitting the ‘forward’ button kind of did, and instead nods. “This might work, man.”

“Glad to hear it,” he says, bored. “Can you go now?”

Jared closes the door behind him and figures that if it gets his boyfriend back, he’ll let Chad keep his internet.

\---

He and Alison make quick work of setting everything up. “I’ll go set up the new guy in Accounting,” she tells him when they’re done. “Good luck with Jensen.”

“That leaves me with trying to fix Tom’s color copier again, doesn’t it?” he sighs. “If it takes me forever and I don’t get a seat next to Jensen, I will kill you.”

She laughs like she thinks he’s kidding. He hates that fucking color copier.

\---

By the time he gets back to the meeting room, it’s mostly full and Jared doesn’t see Jensen immediately.

“He’s up towards the front,” Jared hears. “On the left.”

He turns to see Gabe leaning against the wall and Jared gives him a smile.

“If that’s who you’re looking for,” Gabe adds.

“Am I that obvious?” he asks but Gabe only shrugs in response.

“Thanks,” he says, and makes his way towards the front. Jensen’s sitting next to a few guys that Jared’s able to identify as engineers, solely from the amount of time he’s spent down there during the past few months. There’s an empty seat next to Jensen and it looks out of place with every seat around it spoken for.

“That spot free?” Jared asks, leaning over the old guy on the aisle to try and get Jensen’s attention.

Jensen looks up. “Yeah, I saved-- uh, yeah, it’s free, I mean.”

Jared grins and takes his seat, accidentally shifting the chair closer to Jensen’s. Mostly accidental, anyway.

“Cutting it kind of close, don’t you think?” Jensen leans in to say quietly.

“I’m a busy man, Jen. Some of us have important jobs to do.”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, says the guy that was going to sit through all three of these just to stalk me.”

He laughs. “Man, your modesty astounds me.”

Jensen shrugs casually, fighting back a smirk. “You stop stalking me and I’ll stop accusing you of it.”

He leans in close and lowers his voice. “You stop looking the way you do all the damn time and we have a deal.”

Jensen shifts slightly. “Friends,” he reminds Jared, voice barely audible.

Yeah, yeah, Jared thinks to himself. There’s probably a line he shouldn’t cross, a blurry border between vague innuendo and outright come-ons but Jared can’t bring himself to care. He’s doesn’t worry about finding the line or defining it because he’s just going to keep on crossing it until he gets what he wants.

“God, these things are tedious,” he says instead, voice back up to a normal whisper. “Half the time, I don’t even know what they’re talking about.”

Just then, the CEO stands up in the front of the room and welcomes them all to the bi-annual State of the Company conference.

“Is that what they’re called?” Jared asks Jensen in a hushed tone. “I.T. calls it the Upper Management Parade.”

“Hm,” Jensen says, eyes towards the front. “Engineering takes bets on which VP will talk the longest.”

The girl sitting on Jared’s left leans over and whispers, “We have a betting pool in Purchasing on how many new VPs we’ve promoted this year.”

They’re quiet for a minute. “There were six,” Jensen whispers to her, leaning in slightly.

She swears quietly. “I guessed four. There goes ten bucks.”

They go back to listening. Jared notices that Jensen’s still slightly slanted into his personal space and he smiles when, after fifteen minutes, Jensen still doesn’t move away.

He listens to manufacturing updates, to the new health plan benefits, to the updates on the economy, to the reasoning behind the layoffs (or the corporate restructuring) but it’s not until the CFO starts reading the EBITDA metrics number by number, month by month, that Jared’s eyelids start to feel heavy.

Jensen nudges him in the ribs. “Don’t even think about falling asleep, asshole,” he hisses quietly.

“What?” he says defensively. “I’m not.”

“Yeah, except for the part where your eyes were closed.”

Jared mostly zones on the rest of the meeting, focusing on Jensen’s shoulder against his instead.

Mike steps to the front to conclude the conference and Jared barely manages to contain his sigh of relief.

“Thanks for showing up,” Mike says. “As a final note, we’d like thank you again for your service and continuing dedication to this company. It’s because of all of you that we stand out against the competition.” There’s some polite clapping and Mike pauses. “As some of you may know, the company will be celebrating fifty years of service next week. In honor of this landmark, we’ll be having an anniversary party next Friday. The Human Resources department and our Board of Directors have been working very hard in planning this event and we invite you all to attend. We’ll be closing the offices a few hours early as a very heartfelt thank you to all of you.”

There’s some more applause and Jensen looks at Jared out of the corner of his eye. “So wait, we’re laying people off but we can afford to have a party?” he whispers.

“Who cares?” Jared replies. “I wonder if there’ll be cake.” He turns to Jensen. “I bet there’ll be cake.”

“We’ll be providing a buffet and dessert for everyone,” Mike continues. “Ms. Russell is putting together an impromptu yearbook so please feel free to bring in any photos that you may have collected over the years. For those of you who have been with us for awhile, bring in as many photos of your coworkers as you can, the more embarrassing the better!”

Everyone laughs. “This is stupid,” Jensen sighs. “I have work to do.”

“For the newer folks, bring what you’ve got, too,” Mike adds. “And we’ll also have a few prizes to be raffled off and a few games.” He waves to everyone. “Thanks!”

As everyone stands to leave, Jensen starts grumbling and Jared nudges him.

“It’s a party, you Scrooge. You’re supposed to be excited about it.”

“Whatever,” Jensen says as he stands and suddenly, they’re face to face, awkwardly close. The room starts to clear and Jared doesn’t move.

“Hey,” he says quietly.

“Hey,” Jensen says, swallowing. He licks his lips unconsciously and Jared tracks the movement before his eyes dart back up to Jensen’s.

Oh, God, Jared thinks. I’m going to kiss him right here, right now, and he’s going to kill me.

“Not here,” Jensen says, like he knows what Jared’s thinking.

“Okay,” Jared says, sounding strangled.

Someone bumps into him and the moment breaks. Jared's not worried, though. For the first time in awhile, he’s not worried at all.

\---

He stops into Customer Service to drop off some extension cables and Sandy calls him in when she sees him walk by.

“Hey!” she says. “We’ve been coming up with ideas for you on how to get Jensen back. Check it out.”

He looks between her and the other two girls, all of them staring at him intently.

“No,” he says seriously. “No way.”

“You haven’t even heard them yet,” Sophia points out.

“It doesn’t matter,” he replies. “Your suggestion will involve me lowering his inhibitions with some sort of chemical assistance. Katie will suggest something incredibly lame and unoriginal and you,” he says, pointing to Sandy, “You’ll suggest something out of a Danielle Steel book. I’m doing this one on my own, guys,” he tells them.

“You’ll fail,” Sophia says.

“I won’t,” he tells her. “Just you watch.”

\---

Jared rifles through some old photos for the company yearbook when he gets home on Friday. Most of the pictures of Chad are unusable and frankly, a little frightening. He finds two of the Customer Service girls taken at the bar that are safe enough and one of Jeff eating some birthday cake for the party I.T. threw him last year.

He hesitates but decides to grab the picture of Jensen in Chicago, too. It’s risky and maybe even really fucking stupid but Jared convinces himself that it’ll fit well into his plan.

\---

On Monday, Jared brings Jensen’s lunch down to him the same way he’s done it for the past week but this time, he tucks a metal folding chair under his arm and carries it awkwardly down with him. He walks into Jensen’s office without preamble and sets the sandwich down on the desk without a word.

Jensen eyes the chair warily. “What’s that?” he asks.

“A chair,” Jared answers. “The one I used to sit in has gone mysteriously AWOL so I decided to be proactive about it.” He’s careful to keep any casual accusation out of his voice.

“Okay,” Jensen says slowly. “But it’s just right there.” He points to something half hidden behind the open door.

Jared turns to look and sure enough, there’s the red leather chair almost completely hidden by the door. There’s about fifteen navy blue binders stacked on it and a box of vinyl siding sample cuts pushed up against it.

“I don’t exactly have a lot of room in here,” Jensen explains, gesturing around vaguely but not taking his eyes off of Jared’s. “So it kind of became the only place for me to store my training manuals.”

“Oh,” Jared says, feeling like an idiot. Worse, he feels like a melodramatic idiot. “I thought…” he trails off.

Jensen cocks his head and Jared thinks that he’ll let it go; it’s not Jensen’s style to push.

“Thought what?” he asks.

“Nothing,” he answers, pulling the folding chair open and sitting down. “It was stupid.”

“You thought what?” Jensen repeats, ignoring him.

Jared still doesn’t answer but he can see the moment when Jensen gets it.

“Wow,” he says finally. “That’s a bit drastic, don’t you think?”

He shrugs. “Didn’t really know what to think, I guess.”

“Huh,” Jensen says. “You really thought that’s what I was doing? That I just never wanted to see you again?”

Jared shrugs again and before he can respond, Jensen changes the subject.

“Turkey again?” he says but Jared can tell he’s excited.

“You like it, right?”

Jensen smiles. “Yeah.”

Jared gives him a satisfied nod. “Good, then I'm gonna keep bringing turkey.”

They eat in silence for a minute until Jared can feel Jensen’s eyes on him.

“You don’t have to keep doing this,” he says eventually, not meeting Jared's eyes.

Jared makes sure he swallows his food before answering. If he’s going to get Jensen back, he might as well have good manners while doing it.

“But I do,” he disagrees. “It’s all a part of my plan.”

“I just mean,” Jensen continues, “that you don’t have to bribe me with food. I like you anyway.”

Jared raises an eyebrow. “You love me,” he corrects.

Jensen shoots him a look. “Jared,” he warns.

“What?” Jared says, overly innocent. “We should be open and honest about these things.”

He rolls his eyes. “Is this couples counseling or a lunch break?” he asks. “I could have sworn it was a lunch break.”

“It’s both,” Jared says casually. “I’m excellent at multi-tasking.”

“Hm,” he responds, sounding unimpressed.

They eat in silence for another minute, carefully stealing looks at each other. Finally, Jared loses his patience.

“Okay, look,” he says, pulling his chair as close to Jensen’s desk as possible and staring him right in the eye. “I had a few different plans for how this was all going to go down but some of them weren’t very good. Some weren’t even practical.”

“What?” Jensen asks, lost.

“The one with Chad, for example,” he continues, like Jensen hadn’t even spoken. “I was going to have him be all stealthy and sneak in here after hours to plant a fake virus on your computer.”

Jensen’s mouth drops opens slightly. “What?” he says again.

“I know, I know,” Jared says. “It would have been incredibly time consuming and might potentially backfire but it was an idea nevertheless.”

“Right,” Jensen agrees slowly. “But doesn’t telling me the plan make it inherently less stealthy?”

“I had other ideas,” Jared tells him.

“I mean, now I can come up with my own counter-plans,” Jensen continues, ignoring him. “I could just call your boss or something. Turn you in.”

He shakes his head. “You wouldn’t, though,” Jared argues. “You like hanging out with me too damn much.”

Jensen rolls his eyes and doesn’t respond. He doesn’t argue it, either, Jared notes.

“I also had a plan to cut some wires on your Prius so your car wouldn’t start and you’d be stranded in the parking lot.”

Jensen’s eyes widen, looking a little horrified.

“But I don’t know which wires to cut,” Jared explains. “So it could wind up being pretty expensive and probably a little dangerous.”

“Probably,” Jensen echoes quietly, still looking stunned.

Jared shifts a little closer and leans further over the desk. “So instead, I decided to do this once more,” he says, gesturing around the tiny office. “I’m gonna wear you down till you like me again,” he teases.

“Wear me down,” Jensen repeats dryly. “Wow, if that’s not the foundation of a healthy relationship, then I don’t know what it is.”

“Shut up,” he grins. “It’s an awesome idea. And it worked the first time around.”

Jensen blinks and leans back in his chair. Jared watches his face turn thoughtful and maybe a little sad. “Jared,” he starts.

“I’m sticking this out,” Jared says immediately. “You’re not getting rid of me that quickly.”

But Jensen doesn’t seem to hear him. “This isn’t the first time around,” he says instead. “Things are, I don’t know. It’s different this time, Jared.”

“Different how?” Jared asks, still undaunted.

“We’re not getting back together,” Jensen says quickly, forcefully. “I can’t.”

“Can’t?” Jared says.

“Can’t, won’t, whatever.” He pauses. “After, you know, everything that happened last month, it sucked. People I had never talked to before were giving me sympathetic looks in the hallway and there was all this overwhelming pity being thrown my way and it sucked, man. It was uncomfortable and weird and completely unwanted.”

Jared sadly laughs. “While you were getting all the pity, I was getting the disdain. It wasn’t so fun on my end either, you know.”

“Yeah, I know, Jared,” he says meaningfully, “And that’s kind of my whole point. Why would you want to do this? Everyone’s eyes are on us and there’s going to be gossip, you know there is. It just doesn’t seem like a smart decision.”

“Smart?” Jared asks incredulously. “You’re talking about being practical? Relationships aren’t practical, Jensen. It’s sort of the point.”

“Well, one of us needs to be practical,” Jensen says, not unkindly. He doesn’t say anything else.

“Oh,” Jared realizes, exhaling. “I get it. You think I’ll fuck up again.”

Jensen shrugs. “Well, yeah, but I mean, that’s what happens with relationships, Jared. People fuck up. And I’m not perfect either. It’s just,” he sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “It’s just a matter of time before something else happens.”

Jared leans back in his chair, mouth open. “That’s-- I don’t even know how to respond to that, man.”

Jensen doesn’t say anything, his eyes still trained on Jared.

“I had all kinds of things to say, you know? Things to convince you or things to get you to trust me again but this?” Jared says. “I can’t argue with you on this. There’s not a whole hell of a lot I can do if you’re just too fucking terrified to take a chance.” He feels himself teetering between anger and disappointment.

“I’m not terrified,” he responds, eyes narrowed. “I’m cautious.”

“Cautious,” Jared spits out with a laugh. “You’re a coward.”

Jensen still stares and says nothing.

Jared stands. “I don’t get you, Jen. This is what you want?”

He’s quiet for awhile, irritatingly silent. “It’s easier this way,” he answers finally.

“Easier?” he asks, hearing the note of bitterness in his voice. “It’s gonna be easy for you to sit all alone down here with nothing but some remember whens? It’s gonna be easy for you when I start seeing someone else? And maybe you have to see us, all hot and heavy--.” He cuts himself off when he sees Jensen’s eyes flash.

Jensen doesn’t take the bait, just stares back at Jared.

Jared lets out a resigned sigh and runs a hand through his hair. “Fine. I just -- fine. It sucks that you’re being so selfish about this, Jen. You’re not the only one involved here. I should have a say in this and you’re just. I don’t know, it just sucks.”

He sighs quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, okay,” Jared says, looking away. “Well, you just sit down here and pathetically pine away for me and I’ll go back to my cubicle and pathetically wait for you to come around. That’s a great plan.”

He turns and leaves without another word.

\---

He doesn’t speak to Jensen for the next two weeks. There’re no emails, no phone calls, no lunches. Jared figures he’ll give Jensen the space he didn’t ask for. It’s the only thing he can think of to try, the only thing that might make Jensen crack.

He goes to work and does his job, goes home to watch TV, and hangs out with the girls on Thursday.

Jared’s angry with Jensen for the first time. He’s angry, he’s bitter, and he’s hurt.

Mostly, though, he’s just miserable.

He decides to skip the company’s 50th anniversary party, not really in a sociable mood, and instead catches up on some things at his desk. Everyone heads for the cafeteria around noon, when they close the office, and Jared’s left completely alone to fill in and update his project log. He turns on his iPod and tries to block out his thoughts and the rest of the world.

Around three, he sees movement out of the corner of his eye and slightly jumps.

It’s Misha.

He’s standing in front of Jared's cubicle, holding an interoffice envelope and wearing an identifiable expression. He leans in to place the envelope in Jared’s inbox and then straightens back up to watch Jared some more. It’s like he’s waiting for something but Jared can’t figure out what.

They eye each other for another minute, both of them uncharacteristically quiet.

“You’re going to be waiting a long time,” Misha says finally, sounding weird and cryptic. “He’s a lot better at pining than you think.”

He holds Jared’s gaze for a few more moments and then turns and leaves abruptly. Jared blinks and watches him go.

He stares at the envelope for a few seconds and then reaches over to grab it. It’s pretty battered and Jared carefully unwinds the cord to open it. Inside, there are three sheets of paper and Jared sees that they’re all emails that Misha printed out, his name printed in bolded letters at the top of each page.

He glances back up, as if Misha might still be there, as if this is some awkward joke that Jared’s not quite in on.

He's not still there, though, and it’s just Jared and three pieces of paper that feel heavy in his hand, like they mean something.

He swallows and looks back down.

\---

\---Original Message---  
From: Jensen Ackles  
Sent: Friday, July 13, 2007 1:33 PM  
To: Misha Collins  
Subject:

Dude, who’s the hot I.T. guy? Why didn’t you tell me about him?

J R Ackles  
Engineering  
Ext. 3773

\---Original Message---  
From: Misha Collins  
Sent: Friday, July 13, 2007 1:47 PM  
To: Jensen Ackles  
Subject: RE:

Because I know you’re not gonna make a move. You’ll spend the next decade being a creepy secret admirer that tries to pump me for information.

P.S. His name’s Jared.

MISHA COLLINS  
EXT 3137

From: Jensen Ackles  
Sent: Friday, July 13, 2007 1:51 PM  
To: Misha Collins  
Subject: RE:

Whatever. Stop judging me.

J R Ackles  
Engineer  
Ext. 3773

\---

Jared stares at the email, at the date. Jensen’s been into him for two years. He tries to process that and flips to the next printout.

\---

\---Original Message---  
From: Jensen Ackles  
Sent: Friday, April 10, 2009 4:39 PM  
To: Misha Collins  
Subject: ??

The hot I.T. guy talked to me today. He’s … strange.

Still hot, though.

J R Ackles  
Manufacturing Engineer  
Ext. 3773

\---Original Message---  
From: Misha Collins  
Sent: Friday, April 10, 2009 4:49 PM  
To: Jensen Ackles  
Subject: RE: ??

I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess you didn’t say much and just generally acted like an ass. It’s been two years, man. Make a move.

MISHA COLLINS  
EXT 3137

From: Jensen Ackles  
Sent: Friday, April 10, 2009 5:51 PM  
To: Misha Collins  
Subject: RE: ??

Don’t think I’m his type. Maybe next time.

J R Ackles  
Manufacturing Engineer  
Ext. 3773

\---

Jared swallows and looks around guiltily. He feels weird reading Jensen’s emails, even if Misha hand-delivered them.

Everything feels a little strange. He feels like he had everything all figured out and now he has no fucking clue.

\---

\---Original Message---  
From: Misha Collins  
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 12:13 PM  
To: Jensen Ackles  
Subject: Hey

Danni just showed me that email, man. You okay?

MISHA COLLINS  
EXT 3137

\---Original Message---  
From: Jensen Ackles  
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 1:01 PM  
To: Misha Collins  
Subject: RE: Hey

Whatever, it’s no big deal.

J R Ackles  
Manufacturing Engineer  
Ext. 3773

\---Original Message---  
From: Misha Collins  
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 1:09 PM  
To: Jensen Ackles  
Subject: RE: Hey

Don’t start with that. I’ve seen the way you look at him.

MISHA COLLINS  
EXT 3137

From: Jensen Ackles  
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 4:43 PM  
To: Misha Collins  
Subject: RE: Hey

It’s funny, everyone keeps saying that. Doesn’t really matter if he doesn’t see it, I guess.

J R Ackles  
Manufacturing Engineer  
Ext. 3773

\---

Jared hastily folds the emails up and shoves them in his top drawer. He sprints down to the cafeteria and mentally berates himself for backing off. He wonders distantly when he’ll start doing this right, when he’ll stop fucking things up.

He gets to the cafeteria and scans the crowd. There’s still a decent amount of people milling around, even though the party’s been going on for a few hours. There’re a few tables in the back up against the wall where the catered buffet is set up and to the right, a few more tables covered in what looks like the raffle prizes. He can’t see Jensen anywhere.

In the far corner, he spots a few cardboard trifold display boards, the same kind used for high school science projects. Jared spots Jensen standing directly in front of one of them, completely frozen. Alone.

Jared’s heart skips a few beats.

He walks over with a determined step and he can feel several pairs of eyes on him. He doesn’t fucking care.

“Hey,” he says as he steps into Jensen’s personal space.

Jensen looks up at him, startled. “Jared,” he says on an exhale.

He looks over to see what Jensen’s staring at and immediately, his eyes are drawn to it. The whole board is beautifully decorated and covered in the photos people brought in, some old, some new. There's a few curling at the edges and several Polaroids taken decades ago at various Christmas parties. Right in the middle, though, enlarged and displayed prominently right in the fucking center, is the picture of the two of them in Chicago. At a closer look, it’s not the most flattering picture of Jared, one eye a little squinty and his hair kind of blowing at awkward angles along with the Chicago wind.

Despite all of that, though, it’s an intense picture and Jared remembers that Jensen’s never seen it.

The photo’s palpable, between their goofy smiles and their lack of personal space, and it’s clear what they mean to each other. They’re practically entwined and it’s obvious to anyone who even glances at it.

Jared looks back at him.

“Jensen,” he starts.

But then Jensen’s grabbing his face and yanking down, fingers tangled in Jared’s hair. Jensen’s kissing him and it takes Jared’s brain a few moments to catch up with it. Jensen’s kissing him and everyone around them is staring and giggling and making surprised little gasps. Jensen’s kissing him in front of everyone.

By the time Jared’s starting to get with the program, just as he’s starting to think, That’s Jensen’s mouth on my mouth, Jesus Christ, Jensen pulls back.

“You suck at this public making out thing,” he says a little breathless.

“Sorry,” Jared says, still reeling. “I haven’t had much practice at it.”

“Bullshit,” Jensen laughs softly.

“It’s true,” Jared replies, just as quiet but it’s pointless because he knows everyone’s staring at them anyway. “My boyfriend isn’t a big fan of huge public displays of affection.” He waits for Jensen to argue, to shy away, and the boyfriend word just kind of hangs there.

Jensen laughs again. “Your boyfriend’s a fucking idiot. You should get a new one.”

“No thanks,” he says, leaning down. “Maybe we just need to practice more.”

“Maybe,” Jensen says softly, and the words tingle against Jared’s mouth.

They hover there for a few seconds and suddenly, half the room erupts into cheers and catcalls.

“Oh, God,” Jensen blushes, looking down.

Jared laughs and pulls him close.

“I changed my mind,” Jensen says quickly. “I saw that picture and I just. I changed my mind.”

“Okay,” Jared responds, directing the words to Jensen’s temple. “Okay.”

“I don’t care. I don’t care if everyone’s watching. I’m not giving this up. I’m not letting someone else have it.”

“Okay,” Jared repeats and nudges at Jensen’s shoulders so he can look him in the eye. He ends up staring at Jensen and forgetting what he was going to say.

A few of the Customer Service girls start cheering again and Jensen blushes a little darker.

“This has been real fun and all,” Jared directs to the small group still staring at them, “But I’m heading out now. Hope y’all have a great weekend.”

He starts to walk towards the door leading outside, arms still tangled up with Jensen’s, and he pulls him along. “You’re coming with me, right?” Jared asks belatedly, looking over his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Jensen answers. “I’m coming with you.” He forgets to whisper it, or maybe he doesn’t forget at all, and the cheers follow them until the door’s shut closed.

*

** _Ten: Be Ready to Take It to the Next Level_ **

It’s a good fucking weekend. Jared doesn’t remember much but there’s a lot of pizza, a medium amount of beer, and very little clothing. There’s even some wine on Sunday night, which Jared feels pretty girly about.

The next week is a good fucking week, too. Jared finds a home for Jensen’s training manuals and reclaims his spot on the red leather chair. They have lunch every day, make a lot of pathetically smitten faces at each other, and on Thursday, Jared even convinces Jensen to make out with him in the abandoned third floor men’s bathroom. Making out actually ends up meaning one sloppy kiss that lasts about ten seconds while Jared’s pressed up against the cold tile next to the sink, but he considers it a success anyway.

So yeah, it’s a good week and everything starts fitting back together but on Friday, Jared decides to grow a pair and stop putting it off. He cuts his lunch with Jensen short and winks at him.

“I got plans,” he says as he quickly drops off Jensen’s lunch. “Big ones.”

“Hm,” Jensen replies, not looking away from his screen. “I’ll see you later then.”

“Oh, you’ll see me later,” Jared says. Pretty much everything he says lately comes out sounding like a cheesy come-on but he can’t exactly help it.

Jensen doesn’t say anything but Jared sees his mouth twitch into an almost-smile before he heads back out the door.

Three minutes later, he’s standing in the main lobby with a burrito.

“Here,” he says, handing it to Misha. “I got this for you.”

Misha looks up from his magazine and cocks his head. “What is it?”

“A beef burrito,” Jared tells him. “They’re good.”

Misha takes it tentatively and gives Jared a slow smile. “Wow, thanks. This is great.”

Jared shifts uncomfortably.

“It looks awesome,” he continues. “I didn’t get you anything.”

Jared stares at him. “It only cost me a dollar eighty five. It’s no big deal, really.”

Misha just keeps grinning.

“So, uh,” Jared starts, deciding to cut right to the chase. “I’ve been kind of a dick and I wanted to-- I don’t know. Apologize.”

Misha frowns. “You don’t need to apologize to me.”

“Yeah,” Jared shrugs, “I do.”

“Okay,” Misha says simply.

“I’ve been jealous of you for a long time,” he states.

He cocks his head again. “Jensen’s been in love with you for a long time,” he replies, like the two things are related. Maybe they are and Jared’s just not able to see it.

Jared shrugs. “Well, anyway, I’m sorry. I’m hoping we can hang out sometime or something. I’m a good friend -- you’ll see.”

Misha smiles some more. “I believe you.”

Jared shifts again. “Well, uh. I should get back to work. I just wanted to get that out.”

“Okay,” Misha nods. “Thanks.”

As Jared moves to walk away, Misha calls him back.

“Hey, Jared?”

“Yeah?”

“Do me a favor and don’t tell Jensen about those emails I gave you. Chances are, he’ll kill me.”

Jared thinks for a moment. “If he asks me, I won’t lie.”

Misha blinks. “Huh. In what context do you think Jensen would ever specifically ask you if I happened to print out any emails and send them to you in an interoffice envelope? I don’t really see that happening.”

“I know,” Jared agrees, sounding sheepish. “I thought maybe you were seeing if I kept secrets from Jensen or something. Like, seeing if I would pass the best friend test.”

“You don’t have to pass a test with me,” he tells Jared. “Not ever.”

“Okay,” Jared says, looking away.

“I trust you,” Misha adds. “And so does he. As long as you trust him, I think that’s all you really need.”

Jared nods. He smiles to himself as he leaves the lobby because yeah, that is all they really need.

\---

Jensen laughs when Jared gives him a very abridged version of the story later during their afternoon break. They’re sitting outside, around the corner from where the smokers all converge, with their backs against the brick wall and their shoulders pressed up close.

“What is it with you and buying food to get people to like you? Is it some kind of self-esteem issue?”

“Shut up,” he says. “If someone bought me a burrito, I’d be psyched.”

Jensen shakes his head. “He's a vegetarian, you know.”

“What?” Jared says, eyes wide. “But he seemed so appreciative!”

“He probably was,” he replies, still laughing. “Doesn’t mean he’s going to eat it.”

Jared leans his head back against the wall and sighs. “I suck at this.”

“Nah,” Jensen says, nudging Jared’s shoulder with his own. “It’s sweet.”

“Great,” he grumbles. “Sweet. I want to be manly and awesome.” He pulls his knees up towards his chest and pretends to sulk.

Jensen grins and rests his hand on Jared’s knee, absently drawing patterns on his jeans with his thumb.

They sit in silence for awhile, listening to the distant conversation of the smokers and Jared finally gets it. He likes this feeling, like they’re tucked away privately somewhere, like this is something nobody else gets to see. When everything they do is witnessed by a dozen co-workers at any given time, it’s moments like these that make everything feel more real.

He gets it, why Jensen likes to keep things private. It’s theirs. They suddenly feel untouchable.

“I love you,” Jensen says abruptly, pulling Jared from his thoughts.

Jared tilts his head and looks at Jensen. “Yeah?”

He shrugs and looks away, smile playing on his lips. “Sometimes.”

Jared grins at him. “Good to know.” He sighs dramatically. “I’m not really comfortable with office romance, though, so.”

Jensen doesn’t say anything, just stares at him with a goofy grin and Jared’s breath almost hitches. The way Jensen looks at him sometimes, it’s intense.

“Love you, too,” he says without meaning to.

Jensen smiles and closes his eyes, resting his head back on the wall. “A couple of minutes left on break,” he says, mostly to himself.

Jared stares down at him and thinks that maybe they really are untouchable.

\---

So okay, they have their ups and downs but really, that’s life and they always get past it, just like Jared knew they would. He even learns some excellent coping techniques over the years, ones that never seem to fail.

There are times when Jensen irritates him and maybe acts distant and a little too focused on the new program he’s rolling out to notice much of anything or anyone else. It happens every once and awhile and all Jared really has to do is glance at the photo from Chicago sitting on his desk, the one Danneel put in a simple frame and set casually on his desk one morning. It serves as a reminder and always puts a smile on his face.

And when Jared’s maybe feeling a little jealous, when he remembers all over again that Misha knows all these stories about Jensen, has all this history, he pulls out the folded up emails that he keeps in the back corner of his bottom drawer. He doesn’t even usually need to look at them; knowing they’re there is usually enough. He figures that yeah, they have some history, but he and Jensen, they’re creating their own.

And when Jared’s ready to quit, during those rare days when he’s had it with his job and all the stupid shit he deals with and the thankless overtime he puts in, he checks his voicemail. There’s a message from Jensen on there, Hey, I have to run to the post office on my lunch but I’ll grab us something on the way back. We can sit outside; it’s nice out today. Love you. Jared listens to it and presses nine to save, every time. His job’s not all bad, he reminds himself. There are some definite perks.

\---

Jared’s just hitting his five year mark with the company and filling out another annoying high school reunion questionnaire when he feels Jensen’s eyes on him. It’s a lazy Sunday morning, sitting at Jensen’s kitchen table, and Jared looks up to meet his eyes. Jensen puts the crossword puzzle down and says, “Are you happy?”

Jared gives him a skeptical look. “Uh, yeah.”

He rolls his eyes. “Not with me. I mean with the company. You like being the I.T. guy for the corporate office of a vinyl siding plant?” It doesn’t sound insulting, just worried.

Jared leans back in his chair and thinks. He’s never really put too much thought into it.

Yeah, Jared thinks, I'm happy. It’s an eight to five deal with a steady paycheck and a 401k and yeah, he's really happy with that. Working eight to five means he gets his nights and weekends completely free to hang out at his boyfriend’s house and do pretty much nothing. There’s no schedules to work out or time to request off, just a casual, Hey, let’s try that new Mexican place after work tonight or maybe a, We should invite some people over this weekend, grill some burgers.

And working eight to five means he spends forty hours a week working two floors up from the guy he's pretty much hopelessly in love with. It a good deal.

They get to take their vacation time together, too and Jensen takes Jared along with him when he's able to get the time off. Jared decides they need a photo of them from every city they visit and Jensen doesn’t argue. Jared thinks it’s an excellent goal to set.

Plus, he’s planning ahead for the future, like some kind of responsible adult. He's got his 401k and his investments and his plans. They’re fuzzy and not entirely worked out but they’re plans just the same. He hasn’t exactly told Jensen about his plans for their future and where they’re going when they retire and about this one cruise he saw online. It’s early; Jared has time to fill Jensen in on the details later.

So yeah, he’s happy. He’s not saving lives or rolling around in money and he's not going to really impress anyone at his ten year reunion but he’s happy.

And then he gets to fill in the little blank line next to significant other on his questionnaire, which kind of cements it.

“Yeah,” Jared says finally with a grin. “I'm happy.”

“Good,” he replies, with a weird look on his face.

He tilts his head and looks at Jensen curiously. “You surprised or something?”

“No,” he answers. He swallows and then, “Move in with me.”

Jared stares at him but there’s no question. “Course,” he says with a grin. “But what will they say at work, Jen? Living in sin?” He gasps theatrically. “They’re all gonna talk. They’re all gonna think you’re sleeping with me just to get a new PC.”

“I am,” Jensen says casually as he stands up and rounds the table. He pulls Jared up and pulls him close. “So let ‘em talk,” he whispers.

Jared leans down and they share a lazy kiss, the kind that’s not meant to go anywhere. It’s more just proof of here and now, standing in Jensen’s-- their-- kitchen with the sun filtering through the sliding glass door.

He tries not to think about work the next day but really, he doesn’t mind. Jared loves his cubicle; it got him here and it got him this, got him all of this.

\---

So when people ask Jared how they met, that’s pretty much the story that he tells them. It usually takes a few hours and by the end, his listener is either drunk or asleep.  
When people ask Jensen how they met, it goes more like this:

We met at work and lived happily ever after. The end.


End file.
